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Leaving husband abusive marriage, working full time with DD how will I cope?

6 replies

Ilikesponge123 · 27/04/2015 21:20

I have only been married 2yrs but I should have known better. Both 21 me and my husband got married after 6 weeks of knowing each other (due to the fact we can't be alone together because our religion says so) we we're fine at first but slowly he started to control me. Telling me not to wear make up, it seemed cute at first but it's only got worse. He made us both delete fb and all other social websights which I agreed to also as less problems in marriage(guys always message me off fb and he's insecure)
He's hit me in the past and is verbally abusive all the time. I did leave him once and call the police made statement etc but ended up dropping it. I thought he'd come to his senses he prommised he would change. I came back home and he's not hit me but verbally abusive, makez me feel small, calls me names a bitch etc. Just when he gets annoyed. I've explained in marriage you can't just walk away but it's all he seems to say like it's a joke 'shall we get a divorce' I'm sick of bieng treated like this. Am I bieng an attention seeker or is this marriage bad? I'm no angel I get moody and annoy him also but I never swear or hit him. Please help me x

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 28/04/2015 09:45

yes it is very bad. he hit you once he will again. please leave. you will manage.

get advice from organization which help women from your religion/culture. I dont know which religion etc from your op but for example www.southallblacksisters.org.uk/ or there might be one more specific to you

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 28/04/2015 09:51

Definetly a bad man. You need to walk away. No matter how hard single parenting or divorce may seem, they are infinitley preferable to staying in an abusive relationship.

Ilikesponge123 · 28/04/2015 09:52

Thank you for reply cest
I'm a white revert Muslim. He's a Muslim also but bengali.
I was a Muslim 2 yrs before meeting him and I love my religion that's why I married him but the once sweet and loving person he was has gone now. And even though he does this I feel bad on my LO to leave him but I know I have to in the end because I'll never be happy x

OP posts:
Ilikesponge123 · 28/04/2015 09:56

Thinkivbeenhacked do you think? I'm only 21 and I just expected all relationships we're like this. Though I knew hitting was wrong I thought he would change. He hasn't done it since I left before but he's upped his verbal abuse and threats like, 'i can divorce you' and he says stuff like 'maybe I'll marry someone who I won't want to call a bitch because she won't piss me off' when I ask him why he swears at me all the time that's his reply. He told me he was looking on how to get over me and marriage. Then he came back into our bedroom 20 mins later hugging me (no apology) saying his heart hurts. I feel like he's only here because of our DD she's only 11 months. I feel so sorry for her. X

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 28/04/2015 10:11

look up cycle of abuse. it is classic bullying abusive behavior nice/nasty. get our now while you and dd still young. get some legal advice. get divorced. get support form friends/family/organizations. imagine 18 years of this !

Anarcala · 28/04/2015 20:45

I've been through and abusive relationship in the past, and his behaviour seems awfully familiar from what you have described. There may be local organisations that can help you regardless of whether you decide to go or stay. Please, please look into them. These kinds of situations can escalate very quickly, and if he has already been physically violent with you then it is a matter of time before he does so again on a larger scale.

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