married but trial separation. father suggesting he keep dd

[TimidLividyetagain]

He wants to keep her at her same school she is in p2. I will have to change her school as don't drive and is miles away. our ds is starting p1 later in year at new area school. Pitfalls are if we end up divorcing he will get to keep her. I will have to pay maintenance yet hes unemployed. If i want to change it he could stop me. Any others i havent thought of. She is six. I want her with me and her brother with plenty contact with dad. Im right in thinking is a bad idea any thoughts

have you moved out, are you living with family? or has he?

do you work? who is currently prime carer? how old is her brother?

just trying to get a broader picture.

Hello i have house to move into im renting am going tomorrow. Im prime carer ds is 4 dd 6 im only doing volunteering three hrs a week to hopefully give me hope of paid work so both currently unemployed . Leaving hin in council house as was easiest way. Just want to know im not being unreasonable to take her and change her school shes thriving in . We might never divorce but what if.

If he wants her to stay at the same school, and that's his priority, then he should move out and let you and them stay in the house to facilitate that.

I you sure he's not thinking more long term in that he will get extra benefits and help with housing etc more easily if he has a child to take care of?

If you have residence of one child each you would both have to pay maintenance on the non reident child. If he's not working that would be a fixed amount from his benefits, against either your benefits (if not earning) or your wages if you are.

Is your dd indicating strongly that she would prefer to stay with your ex, or does she want to stay with you and ds? Given their young age I'm not sure splitting them from each other, or their primary carer, just for the sake of a primary school is in your dc's best interest.

I wouldn't worry about the change of school. Children are adaptable and it she will soon make new friends. If the new school is good enough for your ds then it is good enough for dd isn't it?

Sorry loads of typos there. Hope you can read through them!

Thank you for the replies yes she wants to stay with me

What happens if you try this separation and then decide to stay together?

Is it possible for you to learn to drive? It would give you a solution that keeps your DD with you and in her school.

If we stay together i won't live together as the reasons we are separating are good ones and have been four years in the making after almost twenty years together. So I'm not planning to disrupt them again once they are settled.

I could learn to drive but not soon enough as would be starting from beginning then need a car etc many lessons.

I don't really understand why you are leaving a council home with the family..

However the school move at 6 wouldn't worry me. When new children started at my DS's school that age they were very popular and because they were some one different. 2 years later you wouldn't know they hadn't been with the others since day 1.

I left as i wanted separation since over a year and he refused to leave or even listen to me even stay away a night or two. And as we are married and joint tenants i could not make him. i went to the council and discussed last year so my only option was to leave. I tried staying but I was getting ill and depressed feeling trapped. So yeah im having to give up that security Of council house . He has relented about having her stay as he saw wasn't really going to end well.