What to do with useless ex?

[polealltheway]

So I have been broken up with dd's dad for about 5 years, he has always been unreliable with regards to contact says he will have dd and doesn't turn up! He is unwell a lot with a medical condition and I belive is also depressed.

It infuriates me that he lets dd down 9 times out of 10! He also let's me down as I need some time to myself. I have still tried to allow him access but honestly it's like he doesn't care! About two weeks ago I was wry stressed out and needed some time to myself I was actually crying on the phone to him! He said he would have dd then messages saying he couldn't!

Dd is happy to see him for a day but doesn't want sleepovers,she also doesn't want dinner at his house as she doesn't like his food and said his plates are chipped.

Is there any point atall in me trying to keep contact going? As he seems comfortable with not seeing dd and she seems ok about it too! Just not sure what I should or shouldn't be doing!

Last time he didn't see dd for months I knocked on his door and asked why hasn't he been in contact or even text dd to say happy christmas! He then made all his empty promises and carried on being useless!

You can't force him to have a relationship with DD, however much you want him to. I think the only realistic thing is to just back right off. If he wants to see DD then presumably he has your phone number and he can call you to arrange it. If he can't be bothered then that's his choice.

I would leave it myself.

I had to do this with my Ex , If he is interested he will phone

Just leave it. As you say he is useless. So find a reliable baby sitter instead.

Thank you for the replies! The problem is he probably will get in contact when he feels like it! But when he doesn't see dd for so long she feels even more uncomfortable with him.

You are all right I can't force him I should know this by now!

Leave it.

Your keeping a man in your child's life that doesn't want to be there and that will do way more harm.

I raised dd1 by myself. It was hard work but we got there and she is an amazing Young woman.

Your ds needs people that give a shit about her in her life. He is no loss.

If he pops up in the future I would tell him to go to court. You can bet your bottom dollar he will slink back in to the shadows

How old is DS?

I think I would still leave it and hopefully one day he will tell his Dad or refuse to go.

We want to protect our kids , We would not let another human treat them that way however we have to support them.

Are you making a note of every time he lets your DS down.. You need to and the reason he gives. I pulled out a list in mediation. Ex flipped his lid as he didn't like it all in black and white.