Don't like where this is going....

[fedupbutfine]

I am over 6 years post-separation with three young children (the last was born post-separation). It has been difficult - ex had affair and has been generally badly behaved (no maintenance, periods of no contact with children, OW as treated the older children terribly) - and he involved the courts in the early days of our separation to try and gain full residence. He didn't 'win'. We have settled into a routine in recent years and with the odd hiccup, all is well.

Except yesterday. Children with dad over the long weekend (although I never agreed the bank holidays with him, he just assumed he would have them as it is 'his' weekend) and last night as I went to bed, found a message on my phone asking him to call him urgently. I had (stupidly) left the phone upstairs in the morning and hadn't noticed it missing - I am not a big phone user (unlike ex who is surgically attached to his!). Our youngest child has been ill recently - we are still getting to the bottom of it with the doctors. The message suggested he was ill and he was going to take him to the walk-in. I called immediately although it was some 8 hours after his message and quite late. His phone rang but he didn't answer. I texted and phoned again twice over an hour. No response and I left a voicemail.

I phoned again this morning - rang but not picked up. I have texted three times to ask how youngest is. No response.

I suppose he isn't calling back or texting because he's annoyed I didn't pick up when he wanted me to...but that was some 16 hours ago now and I am concerned. It was a genuine error on my part and he didn't try calling the landline (I was at home for most of the afternoon). He's petty and into revenge and games and generally playing silly buggers - but not usually this petty. Is my only option a call to the Police? He is at his girlfriend's house and I don't know her exact address (he refused to give it but the children have told me the street and the number they think the house is and I know the town). Am I worrying about nothing do you think? The silence is deafening. Really worried.

Send him a text or leave voice mail that if dont hear from him by such and such a time you will contact 101 and local hospitals.

Yeah, I thought of that. I just think he probably couldn't careless if the police visit him to check on the children - it makes no difference to him, does it? It feels to me like I'm the one wasting police time. I will call hospitals, however, as he can't know I've done that. Thanks.

Hope your youngest is ok though

To give him the benefit of the doubt he may have lost his phone, but given the history, he is probably playing a game. He'd have to be an absolutely evil, nasty git to not let you know if your little one was really sick, so by default I would assume that he's ok.
However I would leave a very clear message on his phone that if you don't hear from him within one hour you will contact the police as you are very worried.
I had to do this once and given the history the police were very good and did go round there, read him the riot act and left him squirming.

I agree with spotify....

I would also ring the local hosp to check rather than waiting another hour. My guess is he is playing games though.

Any news yet OP

go round there. take a friend and go see where she lives. No need to kick off just that you were concerned.

thanks everyone. Got a text last night saying he would drop them back today. No mention of sick child - I sent one last text asking how he was which was ignored.

He dropped them earlier, spoiling for a fight. I am afraid I gave him one. He screamed at me that I was a 'bad mother' because I hadn't answered the phone. So I called him scum and put the door in his face. Oops! It was a simple mistake on my part and had he phoned my landline, we wouldn't have had a problem.

Little person is OK. He has antibiotics so I'll keep giving them and see what happens. I will take him to the GP as soon as I can get an appointment and make sure he's OK. It really shouldn't be like this.

I think what I find most upsetting is the girlfriend was in the car - so she's aware of all the game playing and is, seemingly, happy for a mother to be denied simple information about her child.

I am tempted to send a solicitor's letter - not because I think he'll take any notice of it but just because it was piss poor behaviour and was totally unnecessary. Game playing, pure and simple.

Oops?
I hope the children didn't see or hear that.

Yeah. Oops. No. They weren't aware.

I want you to be aware you have played right into his hands..

Had you not bit he would of left more frustrated and gfreind would of heard him shouting. As it was he will go back to the car with another version of events.. Which won't include I goaded her.

My Ex would do this. mostly on the phone. So I used to hang up when he started ranting. if he does this on the doorstep. Tell him you will not having this conversation and close the door.

I also wonder if a sols letter might be something he enjoys knowing he got under your skin.