Contact extra to contact order??

[ilovemilton]

Posted in legal but seems very quiet today. Anyone got any experience please?
Supervised contact finished and has moved onto an increasing regime of unsupervised. Exh has just text to say he will be going to the children's church tomorrow to give them Easter presents and there is nothing I can do about it.

The children don't want to see him there and have asked he goes another church. He says he can do what he wants.

Is this breaking the court order and is there anything I can do?

As I understand the contact order would usually provide a schedule of the minimum amount of contact that the children must be made available for.

I would advise your ex partner that the children are distressed at his intention to come to their church and in the interests of avoiding a scene that it would be better if the Easter gifts were given at the next scheduled contact period.

If there is nothing in the order to say that he must not approach the children outside of the schedule and/or must not attend that church then no I can't see it would be a breach.

If he's going to do it anyway, are you able to rally a few friends to stay with you and the children ? I'd smile through gritted teeth, let him present his grand gesture and then breezily load the children into the car and go. He is probably doing this to get a reaction from you, to prove how 'unreasonable' you are by stopping him, so take the wind from his sails and let him play his games.

A contact order is for the 'minimum amount of contact' there is nothing to stop further contact, it is an order in favour of the non resident parent stating the times that the resident parent must make the children available for contact. However if you look on the order it will also state the further contact can be arranged by agreement with both parents. As you are both parents to your children I cannot see why they couldn't see him at church as I am presuming there is no welfare concerns as he has unsupervised contact, why would you not want your children's father to meet at church ? Do they not want to see him because they know you don't want them to see him ? What are their reasons not to want to see their father ?

I don't know the history..Is this part of an encroaching on your life move? How did it go?

I don't think he is breaching any order. I also agree it sounds gamey for whatever reason. To show how much he does, make you look unreasonable.

There are welfare concerns...it has taken two years to move to four hours of unsupervised. And in two weeks of unsupervised there have already been physical and emotional abuse reported.

He has been to church on a couple of occasions and he uses it to get his friends to intimidate myself and the children. The children end up crying and asking to leave. On the last occasion, the police needed to be called and it was agreed through solicitors that he would not come again.

History of dv to all of us. He is using this to show he can go where he wants and tell me what to do.

Oh, dd text him telling him they didn't want to see him today so he didn't turn up.

They have never wanted contact and have to be forced to go, then spend three days crying about it.

That's crap Ilove. Just another abusive game player. Keep strong. Mine are all rapidly moving towards the ages where they can decide themselves if and when they'll see him and life is becoming much less stressful all round.

Well glad he didn't come ..It is horrible situation to be in. I really don't see how this is in any way beneficial to the children