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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

troublesome ex husbands/partners

4 replies

princessnikky · 31/03/2015 00:08

My 2 girls aged 8 and 10 came home from their dad's today after 2 nights(first time since xmas) and were busy telling me about how big daddy's house was,they have their own bedrooms,went out for tea and were allowed to choose whatever they wanted,went to bed late,have a playstation and a wii...blah blah blah.Usually i let this wash over me but i actually got quite upset and cried in front of my daughters-which i never do.Of course they got upset too.They asked me why i was sad and i said that i felt a bit rubbish because we don't have a big house,own bedrooms etc etc.I work really hard and provide everything for my daughters with no help from their dad.he hasn't paid maintenance for over a year as he has been out of work(again).he has never been to a sports day,parents evening or birthday party. we have a comfortable lifestyle and a nice home.i take the girls on holiday several times a year(something their dad has never done)i pay for school uniforms,horse riding lessons,new clothes,school trips etc with no offer of financial help from my ex.i do it all on my own and i thought i had been doing a good job for the past 8 years(my ex husband walked out on us when my youngest was 6 months old as he was having an affair)so why do i feel so inadequete now?i wish him and his extravagant lifestyle would just bore off.

OP posts:
totallyjaded · 31/03/2015 08:58

Know how you feel. The disney dad is always the good guy in the childs eyes but trust me they will learn far more about the real world from you and thats more important I think. Keep pushing official channels for child support, its the law and he should be contributing. Call the CMS and find out if you're entitled to claim anything as he must be back at work being able to pay for all those nice things. Don't be too hard on yourself its perfectly natural to feel like that

cestlavielife · 31/03/2015 11:22

you do have to grin and bear it "that's nice " . dont worry abut the size of your house etc it really wont matter in the long run.

CrushedCan · 31/03/2015 22:12

It doesn't matter how big his house is or what electronics he has but it matters how big your heart is and that's HUGE! Your girls will look back and appreciate all the amazing things you have done and given up all for them! Be proud of yourself you're doing a wonderful job

PandorasToyBox · 31/03/2015 22:45

princess you have the one thing that he will never have and that is your girls for most of their childhoods. Your dc will work out what type of father he is. All you have to do is be present and love them, which is what you have already been doing.

Some people hanker after material wealth and image, others like you realise that what really matters is love.

I hope you can let go of any untrue feelings of inadequacy and be happy.

I walked away from an abusive marriage, I didn't care about material wealth, I had my two dc under each arm. We are happy, he is not, 7 years since we finished.

Live well is my moto

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