How do you cope with being on your own?

[deeda811]

I feel a little bit guilty for even posting under the lone parent topic because I'm not a lone parent, but as dh works abroad for long stretches of time it often feels like I'm basically on my own (in his first year of life my son will have spent a total of 3 months with his dad). This whole parenting thing is really tough and I'm so struggling more than I thought I would. I've got friends around me from baby groups and antenatal classes, but no one I've bonded with enough to feel comfortable asking for some real support. Sometimes I love the little relationship that ds and I have when its just the 2 of us and I don't have to share him with anyone, but there's also those times when you're knackered or ill or need to do something and you just wish there was someone else to take the baby for 5 minutes! And I think that's not even the hardest bit. I really struggle with making those difficult decisions like about health issues because there's no one else to discuss things with so I'm always doubting whether I've made the right decision.
Sorry it's a bit of a stream of thought but I really want to know how others have coped with all the responsibility and worries and difficulties that come with being the only parent around?

do you have skype/email with dad? or does he say "you deal with that i am not there"?

you have to build your own networks. neighbours friends wider family. get to know your neighbours. you need a plan B if you got sick or broke your leg and had to go to hospital. think practical. who will you call?

if you literally have no one then you would have to ask social services to arrange emergency foster care...put the number up on your fridge. [usually the council switchboard) know who to call.

so probably better to build a network of paid or unpaid alternative carers. you could build a relationship with a childminder or babysitter so your child knows someone and someone knows him. start by leaving your baby with that person for one hour or two. then make it a regular thing.

if you work, you will have to find carers anyway. if you dont work it would be pragmatic to start leaving baby with paid childcare anyway, so you then have someone alternative who may be able to step in. and someone who can give you a break once per week for few hours.

for health decisions talk to your health visitor or GP that is what they for. does your baby have major health issues or special needs? join online forums or local groups.