Sad that it has ended this way

[Gl81]

Not sure if I'm looking for advice for a place to vent but if anyone has any words of wisdom,please share!

I have been split from my ex for nearly a year,its been terrible and it seems to me we will never be able to be amicable. He doesn't contact son unless I make the first step,has been awful to us both and just generally is very unreliable. He doesn't have regular contact,nor does he ask for it.

I think I've come through the anger now to the sadness that this is how things have ended up between us. Son hurt his lip today and had to come home from school, so I contacted him to see if he wanted to come and see him only to find out his phone isn't turned on/out of charge. It sounds awful but anything could happen to DS and his father wouldn't have a clue. I never wanted things to be like this and always hoped we could be friends but his evident lack of care for son makes this really hard to get past. I'll always care about him because as hard as I've tried,I just can't hate people who I once loved. I wish I could,it would make things easier.

Id love to be able to sit down,talk about how he needs to step up or his relationship with DS,what little is left, will be destroyed,but I've suggested this and he's either cancelled,or gone back on his word or just walked out. He really is not a nice person.

I suppose what I'm sad about is that,when you spend 6 years or your life with a person,and have a child with them,how can they just pretend you and that life never existed, its just beyond belief for me.

Anyone been in a similar situation who can offer words of comfort?

No words of comfort tbh but I feel just like this dd sees her dad twice a month but other than that we don't speak in between, not even at handover

It makes me so sad still that it's ended up this way

Exactly how I felt. No words of wisdom except, I tried to remain friends, he turned nasty. He left me for someone else yet I was calm and nice and he screwed me over in all ways. Now nearly 18 months down the line we don't talk. I don't exist. Nothing I do or say matters to him not even when it concerns our child. I flip from wishing he'd come back to hating his guts. X sorry op. Wish it was easier x

This is almost a relief to me as in thought 'I should be over it by now'

My ex isn't interested, having some major problems with OUR 13 year old but he's not interested

Wouldn't offer any input for GCSE choices as 'its her life'

Has never seen dd2 play her violin which she does beautifully as its 'pretentious noise'

Sees dd2 about once a month but promptly delivers her to his mother's house

I've tried to accept this is just how it is but it makes me very sad

I have been where you are, although Ex never had unsupervised contact. It is a bit like the grieving process, although I still cannot understand why a parent wouldn't adore my Ds. I no accept he doesn't and focus on my Ds.I don't bother trying to work out why as it is beyond me and I am happy it is.