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Original poster

Anyone been taken to court by x for Parental Responsibility

33 replies

fairyfly · 27/04/2004 13:08

Do you know what's involved? What do they discuss, do they drag up everything? How much time it takes to sort out? Everything really. I've been told the father always gets it, is that true? Questions, questions.......
I have just recieved a letter from my solicitor,it is a copy of his solicitors letter, full of lies,but he has set the wheels in motion for taking me to court.

OP posts:
wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 13:14

Sorry ff, no advice but I'm glad you brought this up because I think I might have to go through this one day soon with my UH.

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 13:18

Thanks wk, is it imminent with you or just something that plays on yoour mind?

OP posts:
Janstar · 27/04/2004 13:40

My ex applied for it and the court denied it him. But there were exceptional circumstances and you know about that. I was advised by my solicitor that it is granted 99% of the time but that it did not really mean very much in practical terms.

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 13:42

Thanks Miss Star

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wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 13:43

both tbh. Hasn't reared it's ugly head yet but Uh is so unreasonable that I'm sure it will soon. I know he won't want to compromise anything with me and will always be pushing 'his luck' about rights etc. So I'm expecting that there will come a day soon when I'll have to get a court order to sort things out properly. Also, if anything should happen to me, I'd want my sister and BIL to have dd, not UH, and that's going to be a massive legal battle I expect!!!

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 13:45

Well watch and learn along

OP posts:
wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 13:49

Thanks ff. Solicitors advice is all well and good but nothing like knowing someone who's been there, done it.

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 13:53

Well god knows what its going to be like, but my solicitor is fabulous, so perhaps you should have a chat with one. It's a bit easier when they no you already and you don't have to find one out of the blue in an emergency. Good Luck.

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wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 13:56

Thanks ff - have got a solicitor already because we're halfway through getting divorced. She's really good but obviously you can't sit and have a chat about every single thing you're worried about because that's not what they're there for IYKWIM.

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 14:03

Can you not? I thought you would be discussing it along with a divorce? Does nothing for children get decided in divorce proceedings?

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 14:04

Does he not have parental responsibility if you were married anyway?

OP posts:
Janstar · 27/04/2004 14:07

I believe you are right.

wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 14:07

Still trying to get him to reply to the divorce petition whihc has been a long struggle. He wouldn't even tell me where he was living so getting served by a baliff has been hard. Hopefully a lot of it will be sorted with the divorce but the solicitor said they like to make no order at all if possible, which isn't going to help me much.

wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 14:09

He does but he wants to apply for joint residence (crazy idea!) and I've also got to sort out exactly what the parental responsibility thing will mean practically. Ie, I don't want him having unsupervised access, being able to take dd abroad etc etc.

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 14:15

Oh right it's not parental responsibility then, he's got that, so ignore my case it won't help.

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wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 14:18

But how does that affect things? Is there any chance he could lose that? I know I sound like a total b**ch for asking but he was violent and I want him to see dd but I don't want him having the right to take her away, think that the first chance he got he'd run off with her just to prove he could. He did it just before Christmas and then I said no unsupervised access, since when he hasn't bothered to come and see her because its not on his terms.

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 14:25

Well parental responsibility has nothing to do with access. If he does not agree to what you want, he will have to apply through the courts. But each case is different. What has your solicitor said? Tey will be also looking at his relationship with his daughter not with you.

OP posts:
tammybear · 27/04/2004 14:29

I was told by my solicitor that pro just gives the father a status, and he can have a say in schooling, religion, medical treatment, names and where the child lives (as in if you wanted to move elsewhere, he will have to be told etc) but Ive heard so many different things about it, it worries me as exp wants to get it too

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 14:29

The law changed on 1 December 2003 to make it easier for unmarried fathers to get equal parental responsibility: all you have to do is for both parents to register the birth of your baby together.

Parental responsibility for your child gives you important legal rights as well as responsibilities. Without it, you don't have any right to be involved in decisions such as where they live, their education, religion or medical treatment. With parental responsibility, you are treated in law as the child's parent, and you take equal responsibility for bringing them up.

Unlike mothers and married fathers, if you are not married to your baby's mother you do not automatically have parental responsibility for them.

Before this change, you could only gain parental responsibility by later marrying the child's mother, signing an official agreement with the mother or getting a court order. You can still get responsibility in these ways - you might want to think about this if you have other children.

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wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 14:32

Thanks ff - the solicitor has so far sort of said leave it until it comes up. And she's referred us to mediation so I think she's hoping things will get sorted there.

aloha · 27/04/2004 14:33

I've been on the other side - my dh had to go to court over this with his ex. It is pretty automatic unless the father is extremely negligent or dangerous. Nothing has to be 'dragged up' - he should demonstrate a certain relationship or commitment to the child which doesn't have to be strong - ie he was there at the birth, he has visited the children etc. But don't worry, it won't really change anything.

aloha · 27/04/2004 14:34

I've been on the other side - my dh had to go to court over this with his ex. It is pretty automatic unless the father is extremely negligent or dangerous. Nothing has to be 'dragged up' - he should demonstrate a certain relationship or commitment to the child which doesn't have to be strong - ie he was there at the birth, he has visited the children etc. But don't worry, it won't really change anything.

wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 14:36

Thanks aloha - I'm not trying to be horrible and deny him any rights, just protect myself and dd. Especially as he just wants a court battle to make it hard on me - he's not bothered about seeing dd. He's been able to since the start of the year and hasn't bothered because its not on his terms, but he still says I'm denying him access!

Original poster
fairyfly · 27/04/2004 14:38

You have to have mediation by law if you are to get legal aid, the only way you get legal aid is if you have a form by the patronising pain in the arse mediation officer, saying it didn't work.
Anyway heres a website with loads of info on it.
Yes families do need fathers, not irresponsible, mind bending, manipulating, psychologically damaging, dissapointing cockends. Rant.

OP posts:
wobblyknicks · 27/04/2004 14:44

Ok ff, I'm getting legal aid at the moment but didn't know you HAD to have mediation. My solicitor just asked if I wanted to try it and I said may as well.

That's the thing I hate though - some women are evil and ban access and obviously those fathers need protection but then there's 'bankers' like my UH who don't deserve anything but obviously get the same protection.