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Original poster

are the CSA telling me the truth? HELP!!!!!

29 replies

ellesbells · 26/10/2006 21:50

hi, i need advise please. i split with the father of my baby before she was born. he wants nothing to do with my DD. the CSA wrote to him and he ignored them for three months. When they finally traced him at his place of work he denied being the father. we have had the DNA done (finally) and now they want him to pay up. He has three other children with his ex that he already pays for so the csa told me i would get 15% of what was left. However, now he has announced that he moved in with another woman last month and she has two children of her own. the csa have told me today that those two children mean i get less money because they count as 'relevant children.' i told them that these kids already receive maintenance from their real father so they cant get 'double money' and anyway they are not his kids, they are not married and have only just met!! the csa said they will not take into account the new womans income when they assess my case either! i cant believe that my baby now stands in line (in sixth place) behind two children that are not even his! please advise thanx

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fizzo · 26/10/2006 21:53

I really wish I knew something which could help, i'm sorry, good luck

charliecat · 26/10/2006 21:53

I think thats right im afraid

7up · 26/10/2006 21:59

think this is right sadly for you and your dd. sounds like he moved in with her so as not to pay much to you some blokes are such arses. the csa annoy me, theyve collected 4 payments off my ex which if theyd sent the full payment to me would have taken me off income support (i work part time so get a little IS on top),

been told today that they will pay me £40 a month which wont affect benefit. they added that i wouldnt get the full amount till i was off IS!i tried explaining that if they sent the full amount then i would be off benefits! oh well, il keep getting my 7pints of milk free a week and prescriptions then. bloody daft if you ask me

Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:00

cant believe it! just feels so wrong. ive a feeling this has been done on purpose because he swore to me id get nothing when this all started! FFS. men are full of it, hate them all!!

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7up · 26/10/2006 22:04

how old is your dd ellesbells?

cath28 · 26/10/2006 22:05

yup that sounds intentional to me ellesbells... what a nasty man!! how can he be that way towards his own dd; i don't understand it. i just don't get it. the only thing you can hope for is that it won't last with this woman, if he's only done it to get out of paying you, then at least you'll be back to the position you were in after the DNA test.. best of luck

Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:08

shes six months and lovely!!! SO I WIN!! how old is yours 7up? sorry so pissed off. it feels bad enough that he disowns her (FB!) been in tears all nite.

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Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:12

your right cath, he wont be with her for long. hard to believe now but we all wise up eventually!

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cath28 · 26/10/2006 22:13

awww ellesbells hope you will be ok, thinkin of you

Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:16

thanx cath. want to go round there an do something umentionable!

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7up · 26/10/2006 22:21

my youngest is 2 ellesbelles, his father hashis money deducted from his earnings but he has told me that if he has kids with a new woman then i wouldnt get as much cant believe he even said it. hes got terrible morals and very dishonest,even though hes a teacher and comes across as quite normal. my mother witnessed what an intimidating bully he is last week, so at least she knows what hes like now.....tosser!

Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:24

must be a teacher thing hon, my ex wanker (sorry) is a teacher too!!! i think they must take secret lessons "how to avoid paying for your kids" what do u rekon?

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Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:27

gonna start a new thread "ALL MALE TEACHERS ARE TOSSERS!!" [WINK]

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7up · 26/10/2006 22:27

cant believe hes a teacher too! he really annoys me cause my family are hardworking and honest people dad was a plumber, mum hairdresser, sister owns a hairdresser and her partner is a tarmacker.the ex is a snob and i said to him the other week "youre only a bloody teacher" its nothing special! i love the fact that i bought ds a toy dustbin truck for his birthday and told the ex that ds now wants to be adustbin man

Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:31

good for your DS. after all, he doesnt want to be a teacher now does he? i dont get it, we do the hard work, take the emotion on board an they dont care. they are only interested in causing as much disruption and pain as poss! it makes me sick!! do your family support you well?

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7up · 26/10/2006 22:36

my mother is wonderful, i dont know what id do without her. ds has had lots of hospital visits since he was born, he has a hormone problem and mum comes round every morning to hold him while i give him an injection.

his father told the courts that i was using the hospital visits as an excuse not to let him see him!stupid man. him and his family didnt even ring for the first year to ask how he was they were too busy plotting with solicitors to try and take him away. i wish hed just piss off and leave us be really

glitterfairy · 26/10/2006 22:40

Good to hear from you 7up. The CSA are rubbish. Cannot go into details here but frankly they are as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Meanwhile children are paid for by their mums! SO nothing has changed then.

7up · 26/10/2006 22:43

hiya glitterfairy, i wondered how you were! my computer got a bug in the summer to i didnt have it for a few months and they had to basically return it to its brand new state when they fixed it, i lost everything, emails addresses, photos,the lot. hope youre ok, i know you cant post on here anymore but hope youre kids are alright. new email is [email protected] hear from you.x

Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:45

thats so sad my DD had a heart problem (ok now tho) he was told when she was born that she was transfered to great ormond st, but he didnt show!! says it all about him really. his family have never met her and like your xp's family, plotting telling him not to pay. teachers are sposed to be 'upstanding members of the community' what a joke! is your DD still having treatment? will he be ok in future? x

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7up · 26/10/2006 22:49

glad your dd ok now ds will always have to have medication,hopefully as he gets older i can stop the injections and he can have a nasal spray. ive tried it on him but hes too young to snort it up properly and i think the feeling of having your brain washed out with liquid is worse than a quick stab in the leg!

my exes mother told my mother that she condoned her son not paying maintenance because of the court fees! she just didnt get it that her son was having access anyway and chose to go to court and spend £10,000 only to get the same access anyway

runkid · 26/10/2006 22:51

As far as i no the first children get the most then it goes down for each child after.
It amazes me how they work it all out.
I earn less than my childrens dad and pay for both the kids mortgage etc and he ends up paying just £34 a week for his two children it doesnt go far especially when 1 is a teenager. And he is single

7up · 26/10/2006 22:55

blimey runkid,does he not earn much i know what you mean about teenagers! my eldest is a lot more expensive to keep than the little one, especially where the fridge and food cupboards are concerned

Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:55

funny! but a shame too. that ten grand could have been spent on your DS! why does it always seem to be about them scoring points off us? am i just cynical or what? do they think that the peanuts they give will give us a life of luxury?? i cant imagine ever not wanting the best for my kids no matter what. they dont think of our kids tho, just that we are 'taking their money'

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7up · 26/10/2006 22:56

i think its a case of them wanting to hurt us through the kids really and doing it financially does really hurt

Original poster
ellesbells · 26/10/2006 22:59

your not wrong there 7up! just pisses me off that two kids that aint his are going to get more than his own! got to be wrong somewhere!

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