I'm having a moment!

[18yearstooold]

I'm so fed up of being the only one in the house who ever does anything

I'm fed up of nagging

I'm fed up of the attitude I get back

I'm fed up of being the only one who cares

I'm fed up of being stuck in over half term with 2 DC and no money

I'm fed up of taking responsibility for everything

I'm fed up of worrying about dd1's mental health

I'm fed up of worrying about dd2 feeling left out because i'm worrying about dd1

I'm fed up of putting myself last

I'm fed up of feeling like i'm doing nothing right

I'm fed up of dreading anyone knocking on my door because my house is a mess

I'm fed up of being told 'you're so strong, I don't know how you do it!'
I don't do it, I'm just good at pretending

And breathe....

Yup!

Not feeling better having slept on it

Know how you feel honey, big hug for you, its very tough and I can relate to what you're saying, I remember my mum although she wasn't a lone parent fed up in school holidays especially when it rained, you're not the only one x

Hi 18yearstooold
How are you feeling today?

Most of what you wrote applies to me as well, although I only have 1 ds so don't have the sibling issues you also do.

I'm also going through chemo for breast cancer, but my ds seems to think I can carry on as normal and I still have to yell at him to get any kind of help at all.

I ended up crying yesterday as I couldn't cope with him moaning and complaining he had to do his homework after he'd avoided it for all of half term already. He's got his GCSEs this year and he seems to think he doesn't have to make any kind of work or effort.

I told my sister that if it wasn't for ds I probably wouldn't bother with the cancer treatment because my life is so sh1t.
She thought I was joking. I wish I was.
It's going to get a whole lot worse again soon when I stop getting WTC as I don't earn enough to cover the bills without it.
But we carry on regardless, one day at a time.

Like you said, we do a good job of pretending we're coping. I'm hoping that one day that pretence may actually come true!

Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know you are definitely not alone. Although I've long given up worrying what state the house is in as the district nurses have to come in regardless. It doesn't stop the guilty feelings though and I haven't had the guts to have a work colleague over for fear of what she thinks.

Half term is almost over, so hopefully that will be one less worry for you for now.

Big hugs. We can do this. We don't have much choice after all. And one day it will all have been worth it.

I'm ok gilly but thank you for asking

Hope your treatment goes well

I actually have MS but don't have time to think about it so I carry on in my little bubble pretending i'm fine and praying that my next relapse isn't a big one
Touch wood at the moment i'm 95% fine

I've had a moment like that today too - I feel stretched so thin that I just have nothing left to give - and I don't have half of what you have to cope with!

So, no answers from me, but a bloody big hug. Hope your ok

Sorry to hear that sillymillyb. Big hugs to you both.

If nothing else I hope it helps to reasure you that you're not the only ones that feel like this. Sometimes it can feel like we're the only one struggling with it all and the reality is you're really not.

Remember we're not perfect but we're doing the best we can each day.
I try and say that if today wasn't quite what I hoped for, it was the best I could manage. No-one should expect more than that.

We are all on the same page - you just get on with it!

My house is not the cleanest, tidiest, the shoes are not always shined, the food can occasionally lapse into pizza mode ( never chips!), ironing may be optional, haircuts happen if when and oh yeah it does look shaggy etc etc.

We manage because we have to and when the EX throws a curve ball so curvy, you could not have humanly predicted it - we suck it up, bust a gut and sort it out!!

then one of the little critters does something so sweet, you know it is worth it - the last few days I have had man flu - I am wasted - little critter 1 who is 8 yrs old, goes down stairs, makes me a cup of tea and piece of toast and brings it to me in bed.............

Been thinking of you 18yearstooold, and you too sillymillyb.
Hope you're both manging a bit better now that the dc are back at school.