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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

New lone mum please advice and help.............

13 replies

mum2oliver · 23/10/2006 19:53

My friends dh has just left her after 2weeks of marriage.He is staying somewhere thats not permanent.He is already pesturing her after only havig left for 3weeks so far.He wants her to find out what she is entitled to.
He earns £25-£30,000 a yr and she work in Clarks shoe shop for 16 hours a week.
They have 2 girls,aged 4 and 2.
Can anyone advice how the csa works,where should she go to gain advice and what chance has she got of staying in the house they both have a mortgage on?They have a lot of loans that are secured on the home.
If she reports him to csa will this effect what benefits she can receive?

OP posts:

Original poster

mum2oliver · 23/10/2006 21:14

bump

OP posts:

Plibble · 23/10/2006 22:38

I can't answer your questions, but maybe the Citizen's Advice Bureau would be a good place for your friend to start.

cath28 · 23/10/2006 22:46

she should get herself a lawyer sounds like she is going to need one! she should be entitled to legal aid. no idea about her rights in this situation but yes i've always found the cab really helpful; you can usually drop in to your local centre. failing that, gingerbread or the national council for one parent families - they're both good on legal stuff. hope this helps your friend.

fizzo · 24/10/2006 08:38

I am in the process of seperating from my partner aswell,m diffrenet circumstances but so far I am aware if you can organise maintanance privately it is much better. When she applies for income support they will ask if she wants to go for csa, she can think about it for 14 days (what I have done) Hopefully in that time her and he dh can sort it out.

If you say yes to claiming csa when filling out the forms and then want to change your mind at any point I've been told they will pull you in and question you.

You can say no in the beggining and change your mind at anyother point.

Yes the amount of maintanance does effect benefits

Good luck to her

cath28 · 24/10/2006 20:47

fizzo how does it work exactly with income support, do they deduct maintenance directly from your benefit? doesn't seem fair. i'm working at the moment but going to have to stop when i get closer to march when my new baby is due and i wont be able to work for the first 6 months / year depending on situation.. i'm terrified frankly. i get quite a good sum of maintenance from my dd's father; from my true love aka the guy who has just run off from me while pregnant with baby 2, i'm not really expecting to get a penny, seeing as he hasn't got any money... i guess i should get myself to the CAB too...

lynneclynne · 24/10/2006 21:09

mum2, if your friend does on to csa web site there is child maintanance calculator, this works it all out for her, she is entitled to 20% of his weekly income this is for 2 kids (15% for one)works out about £50-60 per week, i have been through it all so i know.I hope this helps.

Original poster

mum2oliver · 24/10/2006 21:26

cath2,a lawyer? Really? I dont feel like she could cope if I said that.Its sounds so serious.Bless her.She isnt coping too well.I really feel for anyone in this situation.Thanx lynneclynne.

OP posts:

cath28 · 24/10/2006 22:10

if it's serious that's exactly why she needs a lawyer! i don't know why people get scared of that.. it actually helps to get as clued up as you can. most men know a lot more than most women and then use this as a kind of power trip. hope your friend is ok anyway

cath28 · 25/10/2006 17:14

(just read what i posted yesterday and obviously i want to rephrase : most men don't know more than most women (!), just pretend they do about legal matters, hence the need for a lawyer!)

fizzo · 26/10/2006 21:40

correct me folks if i get this wrong, but as lynne said there's the calculastor on the csa website to work out maintanance.

If you go through the csa and eg they have to pay £40 a week that goes to the income support people, so you get your income support and an extra £10 a week if you go through the csa. Hope this makes sense?

I have been told its better if you can organise it without invoving csa, what are other peoples views??

Hope your friend is ok

erinssleepymum · 27/10/2006 15:09

hi. it depends on what benefits she gets, but im assuming its working tax/child tax credit as she is working. the money the CSA will take from him (usually 20% for two kids) will not affect these benefits as they are not counted when assessing CTC or WTC. just spoke to my barrister friend and she says he cant force her to sell the house till the youngest child has left school! hope this helps

ditzymum · 27/10/2006 15:54

I think its best to go through the csa. However amicable things are at the start, if he ever decides to stop paying, they will chase him for it and can even deduct it from his wages. if its just an arrangement between you and he stops paying its a lot more hassle to get it from him.

Original poster

mum2oliver · 27/10/2006 20:06

erissleepymum,
Could he not refuse to pay the mortgage though and then they will lose their home?
She isnt claiming anything yet as so soon.She needs lots of advice as she thinks she is going to end up in a hostel.Is this poss if he does refuse to pay the mortgage?

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