Hi, I don't really even know where to start with this....
I split up with my very short term bf at the time as he was abusive, mostly verbal but boardline physical. I had only just found out I was pregnant at the time. He rarely paid maintenance until dd was 2 and this was through mediation.
Due to exs attitude I have struggled enormously to trust him. Dd is now 4 and I am finding through talking with her things are ok (I otherwise know absolutely nothing of get time with him).
He currently sees dd every other weekend Fri 5pm-5pm Sunday and every Monday in the middle, she also phones him on his request (we both work fulltime and with school this is the most agreeable arrangement and more than he requested at mediation).
He is a volatile and vulgar person. The easiest description would be a male Vicky Pollard but worse. It is like dealing with a spoilt child. He has started what he frequently does which is pushing my buttons and doing what he can to provoke a reaction - sending multiple abusive and insulting messages (often mocking me and any message I do send like a bully) and he has now started deducting maintenance like a punishment to me over silly things. I.e she goes to him in older clothes as they come back from him stained or torn and he buys her clothes despite having plenty and sends her home with receipts and takes the cost from maintenance. That money goes into dd savings account so I don't know why he bothers.
Some things he does are petty and I ignore it as best I can but I've had five years of it now and I cant do it anymore. I'm really trying to allow my daughter to make up her own mind but the only way I can see this getting better is by cutting contact.
I have contacted CSA to make arrangements so the example problem should end but it js one of many. He has what he wants but continues to try and argue and I'm not interested. I don't know what else I can do. The law is against mothers like me and don't seem to care what damage he does provided he gets access.
Please help!!! ??????