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2 kids pregnant and alone

8 replies

fattymcfatfat · 19/01/2015 13:11

Hi I have 2 kids as some of you may know by now and im almost 14 weeks pregnant. Im on my own and im sooooo tired! My 1yo dd has decided sleep is not a good thing....she doesnt even nap anymore she goes to bed at six but is up again at 11 and wont go back off until morning by which time I have an hour or so befoee i have to get up to get ds ready for school. Dad sayshe wants to be ssupportive but is basically a d**k. If I was to go bed when he came to see them I would get endless abuse and comments on how im such a bad mum. My ds tries to help but he is only 6. Dad has to see them at mine as he lives with his mum and brothers and there have been problems with drugs in the house. I cant trust him to take them out as I would worry that he would take them there and I wont have my kids in that environment. ...its not right. Some of you may say I brought this on myself as a few years ago we split and I stopped contact with my ds after he came home with a black eye..he was two at the time. Dad took me through the courts and was granted access on saturdays from 10 til 5 and Thursday after nursery..we agreed that once ds was in full time school he could have him Tuesday aswell. Contact was to be community based. Things went well....I was naive and though he had changed so decided to give it another go....now we have another child and one on the way and I feel so alone. He hasnt changed and I dont know what to do. He throws in my face all the time that he has a court order even though I havent threatened to stop contact. I dont want to as he can be good with them. Its just that I get constant abuse off him and my kids hear this....my ds actually called me a cow the other day. I dont know how to handle this anymore. I need support as im pregnant and I have some health problems associated with this but I cant turn to him as he has threatened to phone ss on me! My mum is a carer to my elderly grandmother and my own dad doesnt care either.

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Starlight9 · 19/01/2015 14:00

Oh you poor thing! This all sounds terrible! I do not think it is your fault and you have not brought it on yourself at all!!! it seems as though he is being verbally abusive towards you, it is all so unfair. Do you think it would be worth you explaining to him how he makes you feel? and that your son shouldn't be witnessing his nastiness? Maybe he hasn't realised what he is doing? As for social services, do not listen to threats! they are there to support you and you will not receive negativity from them unless they feel there is a problem. I'm also 14weeks pregnant and understand how exhausted you are! You poor thing! Are there any other family members who may be able to sit at yours with the children whilst you have an hour or two sleep, or close friends? xxx

fattymcfatfat · 19/01/2015 14:13

My mum has offered but she has to work around her partner with work etc so that there is someone for my grandmother. And my friends have families of their own and find it difficult to get to mine as I dont live close to them. I have tried talking to him but a week later he is the same. He says its stress with the pregnancy and worrying about baby as I am booked in for a gtt. I have told him that baby will be fine im just fat! But hes not interested in anything I have to say if it doesn't benefit him. Im at the end of my tether with it all....just wish I could sleep for a week and pretend none of this was happening Sad

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fattymcfatfat · 19/01/2015 14:15

Im also anemic and suffer with spd so movement is difficult at times but I have to get om with it! A bath helps but find it difficult to get in and out!

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Starlight9 · 19/01/2015 14:25

This is so upsetting!! I completely understand what you say about how your ex is, I have met too many men who only want their way etc. I wish that they could experience a pregnancy sometimes! I'm not sure what I can suggest other than support, it seems that you are in a bit of a rubbish situation. Could you possibly contact social services yourself as they could offer support? I'm sure there will be no negative repercussions as you are obviously not causing any harm or neglect to your children. I live in Cardiff, here they offer early years free nursery places and sometimes childminders. I haven't received any support as my LO is in full time nursery (I'm a HE student) but I'm sure asking for help wouldn't cause them to approach you negatively? Obviously this is your decision. I hope that you receive some support or relief soon :-( I feel like death without my daughter at home 4days a week, you must be exhausted xx

fattymcfatfat · 19/01/2015 14:44

I think I may star making use of the children's centre on my street! I have never been so maybe I should go...even just to get me out of the house and around people who may be able to give me some support. sometimes I just need to rant and get it off my chest! But being so isolated its difficult so yeah definitely need to get out more! Im sure being cooped up here doesnt help thank you for not thinking bad of me. I do feel like its my owb stupid fault sometimesbut then think to mmyself actually its his fault he shouldn't be a d**khead!

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Starlight9 · 19/01/2015 14:57

Yes, definitely do that. Fresh air will give you a much needed boost of energy too :) have you used iron supplements? I have found that the liquid ones are fantastic. My heart goes out to you, you poor thing. Feel free to keep in touch if you ever might need a rant? xx

fattymcfatfat · 19/01/2015 15:48

Thank you. I was told not to I have to wait until doc prescribes something but was told to ask for pregnacare as it contains loads so just got to wait for my appointment

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Starlight9 · 19/01/2015 19:22

Ah bless you. I'm sure they will prescribe something that makes you feel a little better :-) xx

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