Should I invite ex to children's party?

[NAR4]

I am currently organising a joint birthday party for my youngest 2dc who will be 2 & 4. This is their first birthday since I split with their dad & I am unsure what to do. He isn't paying towards the party & is normally rude & nasty to me whenever we are in contact, but I do feel as their dad he should be offered the curtousy of an invite.

Am I being a doormat inviting him, when he can never manage to be sivelle to me, or am I behaving as bad as him if I don't invite him?

if he were nice, yes. if he is rude no. make sure you do the party in your time though.

No, you are not being a doormat.

You are thinking about the needs of your children. If you were to invite him; I suspect, he will be keen to behave himself in front of the guests. You might consider asking him to leave at the same time as the other guests go too, thus ensuring he doesn't get the opportunity to be unpleasant to you.

Good luck.

I think it's great your thinking about what your kids would want. It would probably nice for them to have him there but only if he's not going to make the day unpleasant for you. Personally I didn't have my ex at my sons party, I just didn't invite him but he lives quite a way away and I didn't really want the awkwardness ruining the day. I think in the future maybe things would be abit easier and I may invite him.

If it's mostly a family party possibly invite him but if it's loads of kids from nursery etc I wouldn't feel I need to. I used to invite all exh family and him but I don't now. It's just easier to run the show by myself. Exh and I get on fine mostly but he's a bit too keen on taking over and organising the fun out of anything so I don't push him to come

I think you need to make your best judgement of how it would affect the party..

My Ex was not paying maintenance demanded he came to My DS birthday party when he was a toddler.. I had fled from our home and set us up with a new life I was not going to let him become part of that.

Ask your DC if they would like their dad there and do what they want.

You are both civilised adults who should be able to put personal feelings aside for a few hours for the sake of children you both love.
Hope you and they have a wonderful party!

I think while you are right Silver bangle they should be able to put their feelings on one side..The problem is you cannot control another adult and if he can't be civil not create a scene whether the kids what him there or not is irrelevant it could ruin their party

He didn't want to come and see them open their presents Christmas day, because I would be there. So far he hasn't put his children's needs first. He might agree to leave when the other guests do, but it doesn't mean he will. It will be mainly Pre-School friends and there won't be any family there. With all that in mind I'm not going to invite him, but may do next year, if he has managed to start behaving like an adult, rather than a sulky teenager.

Fuck no. Don't do nice things for people who aren't nice to you!

Not if you don't think he'll leave when he's meant to no. He can do his "Own thing" for the dc. My DC have had many a party without their Dad present and we're together...it's not something you have to do....if possible it's nice but often it's not...he sounds untrustworthy re his behaviour OP.

I invited my ex to a party for DS - he came with the guests, left with the guests, ignored my mum (who had helped me al morning with the party prep) and me, got my DS to run around after him getting him (an adult) drinks, paid for nothing and left me and my friends to clear up. Told my DS the following year that he would organise the birthday party - never did. So my view is just don't bother.