How much pressure can the courts place upon an eight year old

[ilovemilton]

I posted yesterday about an enforcement order being applied for by exh in a contact order case. I found out today that it is in actual fact the guardian who is applying for it. exh has said he doesn't mind.

So far, the children have been subject to a four hour psychological assessment, a cafcass visit at home, a cafcass visit at school, two hours with a social worker at the contact centre prior to contact commencing and dd is still refusing contact.

I have now been told I have to take the children to her office at 4pm one day next week, to see what other further action is to be taken to ensure dd attends contact.

How many times does she have to keep saying no for until she is listened to, or will she be subject to this heavy handedness until she gives in and attends?

No matter what I say to encourage her, at the end of a day she has a memory and cannot forget the abuse he inflicted. I don't know what more I can do and how many more meetings I can drag her to before she starts hating me too.

I didn’t mean to imply the children had been put in the position of deciding.

Presumably there has either been a finding of fact hearing or one was deemed unnecessary as there were no facts to find as there was an admission.

Children have a right to be heard and have their views taken seriously but the welfare of children is the paramount concern. That is why their wishes and feelings need to carefully evaluated. Adults are clearly responsible for making decisions, if parents can not agree the court makes a ruling.

When children resist contact for reasons they can reasonably describe and have witnessed DV usually there would be no direct contact until the perpetrator attends a programme and changes their behaviour and the children have undergone therapy. For anxious children exposure is normally gradual.

There is no substitute for independent legal advice but it isn’t possible to appeal just because you disagree with a court ruling. It has to be shown that the court making the ruling has made an error of fact or law, or there was some procedural unfairness. In some circumstances not giving enough weight to the views of children might be grounds for appeal.

However from what you have said there hasn’t been a final hearing yet and by the sounds of it the Guardian/social services are trying to introduce some exposure to evaluate.

I find it rather concerning that a report finds that residency is should be transferred to the father and it is the Guardian(independant 3rd party) who is instigating enforcement proceedings?

For the former to be recommended something serious has been going - its a very high bar that has been reached when this happens.

Have there been other reports, cafcass, SS, etc along the same lines?

has dd seen him at all?
how long ago was last contact and how long ago were the incidents?

thinking back, dd (now 12) took a few months after incident when she was 10 to see ex again... so over time things can improve. if your ex improves.

3x, as I understand it, the change of residency was the psychologists recommendation? There's no mention of cafcass or the courts supporting this option, particularly given op still has residency.

Yes that was just the psychologists opinion, based on me staying the father could not change and the kids didn't want to see him.

Now they keep threatening a care order if I can't enforce contact myself.

Very scary post. If a child is forced to see a parent against their wishes and they come to any harm (psychological or physical) can the child claim the authorities were negligent when they turn 18?

What do you do in the corridor? Can you make it more bearable (without it looking like you are encouraging to refuse).

Maybe a mp3 player with stories on?

My point exactly 43...I'm so worried about the long term effects.

I too was worried about looking like I was encouraging her to stay out if I make it bearable.

exh is now applying for / agreeing with enforcement order.