How do I cope with homesick/missing my dd?

6 replies

sum41sbombette · 18/04/2004 19:14

My dd is 16 months, she's hardly ever away from my side. The only time we've been apart that has got me missing her is when she spent Fri-Mon at her daddy's (who Im not with), 3hours away from here, and when I stayed at my bfs house (who obviously isnt dd'd father) from Tues-Fri.

The weekend with her dad, I hardly heard from him which upset me cos I didnt know how she was. When I was at my bfs, my mum kept txting me, but I was still homesick, and because of it, the Weds and Thurs I was upset and in a bad mood, so I ruined the week with my bf. Oops!

Also when I got back, the past few days, dd has been very clingy, and wont let me go, and keeps crying every time Im out of her sight.

Im suppose to be going away with my bf for a week to Greece at the end of August, but he thinks we should cancel cos he thinks Im going to miss dd 2 much 2 enjoy it, and probably end up pissing him off again.

Ne ideas or tips that any1 can giv me 2 try and get over this, as I really want to go on this holiday, and be able to enjoy spending time away from dd, and to be able to spend time with just my bf without pissing him off cos of me being homesick.

OP posts:

Sheila · 23/04/2004 16:45

Hi S4b - sorry you've not had a response to this. Can't offer any advice - my DS went to stay with his dad for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I just stayed at home and cried (and this was only one night!)! I told myself that if I had more of a life of my own (I don't have a bf) I wouldn't have felt so bad but your experience tells me that may not be true. It's a funny feeling - a mixture of guilt, worry for his safety and just plain missing him. I think a lot of it is to do with where he was - I don't miss him when he's at nursery, just enjoy the time "off" being a mum when I'm at work.

Other single mums seem to cope much better so maybe it's just a case of getting used to it?

Really helps to know I'm not alone tho'

kalex · 30/04/2004 14:06

I really feel for you, the first time (no every time for the first 6 months) my dd and ds went to their father, I felt bereft, and physically ill. However 2.5 years down the line, it is much easier, and I sometimes even enjoy the time!

Just try and keep in mind that your dd will hopefully be able to build a strong and loving relationship with him, which will benefit her in the long term.

I went for a week to Majorca with my BF in March, and was also concerned about how I would cope without them, but apart from the occasional twinge was OK.

Who is supposed to look after DD when you go in August, my kids were at my mum and dad's and that made a real difference because I knew that they were safe and happy, whereas if they were at ex's I may have felt different.

Finally, don't let bf make you feel bad 4 missing her, he would probably think you were strange if you didn't. Maybe try a long weekend away first, kind of a trial run at a longer holiday.

Hope it works out

kalex · 30/04/2004 14:06

Just try and keep in mind that your dd will hopefully be able to build a strong and loving relationship with him, which will benefit her in the long term.

I went for a week to Majorca with my BF in March, and was also concerned about how I would cope without them, but apart from the occasional twinge was OK.

Finally, don't let bf make you feel bad 4 missing her, he would probably think you were strange if you didn't. Maybe try a long weekend away first, kind of a trial run at a longer holiday.

Hope it works out

kalex · 30/04/2004 14:06

Just try and keep in mind that your dd will hopefully be able to build a strong and loving relationship with him, which will benefit her in the long term.

I went for a week to Majorca with my BF in March, and was also concerned about how I would cope without them, but apart from the occasional twinge was OK.

Finally, don't let bf make you feel bad 4 missing her, he would probably think you were strange if you didn't. Maybe try a long weekend away first, kind of a trial run at a longer holiday.

Hope it works out

kalex · 30/04/2004 14:07

Oh god, will eventually get the hang of the pc. Sorry

Original poster

sum41sbombette · 30/04/2004 14:39

Lol thats ok kalex. My mums going to be looking after dd when we go away. Me and dp are actually going away just for a night at the end of May, but I wont be having dd for 2 nights. Weve decided that since its like 4 months away before our holiday, we're going to try and arrange days where I wont have to have dd, and try and get use to not being around her so much. Plus Im trying to arrange ex having dd at his house so I can get use to him having her too, although Im not looking forward to it. I guess I just got to get use to it sometime. Thanks for your advice. xx

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