Christening - bit of a dilema!

[jellybabe83]

My little boy is 2 and a half years old and his father and I split up about this time last year. He was always adamant he didn't want to have our son christened, but I always wanted to...
He now has a new girlfriend, and we do get on (although theres a bit of tension at the moment with regards to money).
I really would like to get my son christened, but I know that if I tell his father he'll kick up a huge fuss.
I wouldn't dream of doing it behind his back, but what can I do? He see's him once a week, but does that mean he has less say in whether his son is christened or not?
His only reason for not wanting him christened is because he was when he was younger and was also sent to quite a religious school, and hated it...
I just don't know what to do about this....
xx

Christenings are very different today than what they used to be and kind of represent something different too. We had both our children christened but I'm not even sure if I believe in God. However, it's nice for them to be able to follow it up when they're older if they want to and obviously don't have to go a religious school. I feel it's more about morals, especially where Godparents are concerned because it's sad to say but most Godparents don't really play an active role in helping to bring up the children in a religious way - they just give them presents at birthdays and xmas! However, it's nice for that child to be able to go to a different person other than their parents when they're older, if they want a different perspective on an issue that might be worrying them for example. Perhaps chat to your husband on your own and try to emplain your reasons as to why you want your son christened and try and involve him as much as possible. The other way you could compromise is wait until your son is old enough to understand what being christened is about and then ask him if he wants to be christened. Your husband could hardly refuse if it was what your son wanted.

Do you want your son christened for strong religious feelings or so that he can choose to follow it up when he's older - or do you just want the 'day' and I don't mean that in a nasty judgmental way. If its just about a celebration and a gathering of loved ones to welcome him to the 'family' then have you thought about a naming ceremony (like a civil wedding)? Youe x shouldn't have a problem with it if that's the case. If not and you really want a christening you need to talk to your x and just explain how important this is to you and that you have no intention of doing to your son what he went through etc. Hopefully you can come to an amicable arrangement.

My mother baptised a friend's grandchild for her (Catholics can do it without a priest in emergencies). I don't think the daughter was ever told but it made the grand mother happy. Probably tecnically legally the father should have a say in those kinds of decision -like will you bring him upC of E or muslim or get him circumsised and bring him up Jewish. Major issues which ideally both parents should agree on. If divorced parents can't agree on these things a court will decide. I think the father or you can apply for a specific issues order.

It's helpful to be baptised if you want to marry in church later, so yo uhave a faith to reject (rare for anyone really to choose one later in life), gives him some religious background, something to put on forms etc.

HI i go to church and my 2 kids go to Sunday school but neither of my kids are baptised. Hubbie doesn't go to church and therefore we have decided to leave that choice to both kids when they are older.