with suspected meningitis, and although it was just a scare and he's fine now it really brought it home to me just how alone we are. DS and I live on our own and I don't drive, and on Saturday evening he was violently sick for absolutely no reason or with any warning and as I was trying to get him out of his vomit covered clothes he was going all floppy and falling asleep on me. He was burning up even though he had no clothes on and he looked grey, and 5 minutes before he went like this he was playing happily on the living room floor with his train tracks that he got for his birthday. I know that with meningitis usually the last thing to appear is the rash, and he went like this so suddenly that I phoned the out of hours doctor who told me to take him to the local emergency doctors' surgery. At the surgery he kept saying that the light was hurting his eyes and that his neck hurt and then he was sick again. He was very compliant for the doctor and she found two tiny spots on his bum that wouldn't blanche so she asked for a paediatrician at the hospital to check him over, and the paed said she wanted to keep him in overnight. On Sunday morning ds woke up at 6am as happy as larry, singing and talking so much that I had to take him into the freezing cold play room to stop him waking the other children on the ward. To look at him you wondered why he was in there, and I felt like a total fraud for being so worried, even though I know what he was like just 12 hours before and it was very, very frightening!
We are totally alone, and I know it's an irrational thought but I'm frightned that if I fell downstairs or had a heart attack or something no one would know and ds wouldn't be able to call for help. I keep my mobile with me at all times, even in the bathroom, but it's still a frightening prospect about what would happen to ds if something happened to me.