lying ex

[Debra1981]

this is just kinda rant, but i want to know how you think this kind of behaviour will effect proceedings- i left drunk husband 3 months ago when he attacked me whilst i was holding 5week old dd1. since then he has also attacked me while he was holding her, threatened to kill me and my family, when i brought her to see him, all of which he denies, and he has told the police that during a visit to the matrimonial home where he is now living alone, i attacked him, which never happened. i have asked a solicitor to arrange supervised contact at a contact centre, because of this and the drink, but hes now denying hes ever had a drink problem as well. the lies and continuing abuse on the phone and during meetings are making me depressed, and im worried what thats doing to my mummying, because i still feel awkward with it a bit, and i think he's going to ask for custody, using things like when i told him at start of relationship that id cheated on previous boyfs... to show courts im unfit (he says he has recordings) and worried that hell turn up without a drink for a coupla days just so he can look the 'butter wouldn't melt', make me out the idiot and end up having dd overnights and carry on drinking. do you think his lies and denials will be believed by police/solicitors? all i can do is sit and wait to see what they say and try and ignore his vindictive and intimidating comments. but im still taking dd to see him cos i do want her to know who he is but/and im worried about what hell do if i dont (as advised to me already by police and solicitor). hes mad that i told my solicitor that he drinks- called it a 'cheap shot' i think he wants me to withdraw this statement, boo! he scares me- can i have a hug please? i know it wont make things better but itll make me feel a bit better!

Next time he calls, record it - use the record facility on your mobi if necessary or get cheap dictaphone type thingy - or make sure you're with someone who can witness it by putting him on speakerphone

here have a hug Debra ((((((hug))))))

your ex can say whatever he likes about you in court, but it dont mean he will believed, and a judge will be able to see through his lies.

if it does go to court then stay calm, state the reasons why you are pushing for supervised access, and be honest.

another thing Debra is your daughter only 4 months old, I think its too young an age for a child to be handed over for the night, would your ex know how to change a nappy, make-up a bottle, wind a baby, bath a bath, rock a baby off to sleep ????

what would happen if your daughter was staying overnight and he got blaggered

I dont blame you for going for supervised access, wish you all the best xx

Record his calls.
It is very very rare that a baby is taken from her mother. It is extremely unlikely that would happen. YOu need to arrange to see him less. My ex won't speak to me. Now when he takes the boys they open the door, go out (they're older than yours) and we don't even need to see each other and as the contact is the same time every week for 2 hours (his choice) there's no need for any conversations about arrangements.
Depends if you can trust him but taking her out for 2 hours for a walk or whilst the baby is at your or his mother's might be another option than a contact centre.

They would NEVER take a four month old baby from her mother - certainly not because her ex said she cheated on previous boyfriends! he's utterly pathetic if that's what he thinks. Overnights are NOT usual with a four month old. I'd simply refuse point blank. She is far, far, far too young and vulnerable to spend the night with a violent drunk. Actually, I would stop the meetings altogether. YOu deserve better than being attacked by this moron.

Just an update, abuse has continued to the point where i no longer make the 10mile trip for dd to see her dad 3x per week (my leaving took his benefits from him so he cant afford transport... but beer..). Last assault was on 21/12/06 in front of his house (sober this time) and think he stabbed my car (with his baby in) tyre at same time but police doin nowt as cant be bothered to ask neighbours if witnessed owt (and his mums on police committee). they interviewed him and obviously hes denied all. i think he did tell gp about drink prob before i left, tho hes since gleefully told me he lied to me about that. my gp has seen my bruises at least. my solicitor seems behind me, tho hes not too helpful. im sleeplessly angry at police and at him for gettin away with it again. he's a proper dodgy, shoplifting, drug-taking, pub-scrapper and wish id never ever met him. grrr!