How does it work in the UK?

[singledadthealmostlegend]

Hi My angry/happy/disparate M/D's. My DW walked out on myself and the kids DD/DS 9/6, just over a year ago. She found a very successful bloke, she rather took a fancy to. Only problem was it was her best friends Husband. Safe to say, our circle of friends/social has changed a bit!!Just moved back to the UK from Paris where we were living.She was recently dumped by the said Beau, and is now demanding to be mum of the century (she was a distant hands off mum before)I feel this is now getting in the way of the really happy house we have created. I ensure, to the point of demanding that she is an integral part of the kids life. How do I now set boundaries. I have raised the kids for the past 5 years , whilst she traveled the globe, earning the essential family crust. In the past she would do everything to dump the kids with me on her weekends, now she wants every weekend, which i have stopped. Thoughts on a postcard please!

Is your ex in the UK too? Does she live nearby? People can come to whatever arrangements suit them, but the "standard" in court is still that the non-resident parent has every other weekend, plus one night in the week they don't visit at the weekend, and half of school holidays. Every weekend would be unusual (though not unknown) as that leaves the resident parent with all the day to day grit of school runs, homework etc, and the NRP with the fun at weekends.

Is she paying child maintenance? Should be in the region of 25% of her takehome for 2 dc.

Am I understanding you were a stay at home Dad before she left? What do you think her aim is ? I personally would not let her have DC every weekend. It is too harsh on yourself getting the school run stuff, homework.

What are your children wanting? What do you think is fair? There are no norms here anymore. Take into account distance. This may be short lived when she picks up a new guy ( which will be awful for the kids) but they will have to know you didn't stop them seeing there mum. This is a hurt you want to protect them from but can't