what to do at Christmas?

[NAR4]

I have been a single mum for 10 wks and have 5 DC. Oldest DC is in 1st yr of uni, 16yr old ds is living with my ex, youngest 3 (14, 3 and 1) are living with me.

16 yr old refuses to have contact with me (ex seems to love that), 14 yr old would rather ex doesn't come here, but ultimately will go with my decision, 18 yr old will stay here during hold and ultimately spend his time where he chooses.

Ex refuses to talk about Christmas plans in any way and his whole family have refused any contact with me since the split. Youngest 2 DC see ex's family when with him (most Sundays).

How can I make Christmas work for all the children. The thought of them all being away from me breaks my heart. I offered for him to spend the day with us, but he replied "why would I spend any time near you?" I replied "for the sake of our children" but he didn't reply. That was a couple of wks ago. Any suggestions welcome.

Why would you be apart from them all? Just keep them at home and leave it upto your ex whether he joins you or not.

My 16 yr old won't come over without his dad and my 18 yr old may choose to go to his dad's. If my ex doesn't come over he will want to have the children himself, for at least part of the day, (prob at his parents). I have no doubt my mil will be stamping her feet about wanting to see the children as well. My in laws always spent Christmas with us. My ex tends to do what his mum wants.