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Lone parents

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Original poster

Newly single, bit scared

26 replies

latorgator · 29/10/2014 19:32

Married and a home owner jointly, stbx want so sell and split equity 50/50. He has ability to work and earn so can save his half, may half will go on rent for me and our baby ds. Think I can get child tax credit at least. I work for stbx and that will stop very soon. Don't even know what I'm asking, a bit bewildered

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Solasum · 29/10/2014 19:35

Are you planning on looking for another job?

Will DS be with you all the time? If so, you'll be entitled to ongoing child maintenance on top of 50% of the equity.

Solasum · 29/10/2014 19:37

Are you planning on staying where you live currently area wise or could it make sense to move closer to family/friends?

Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 20:38

M

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Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 20:40

I'll get a job if I can fit it around ds, I think I'd like to move near family. Ds is only 21m so child care is expensive. I'm also very lonely :(

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Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 20:47

But on a plus side, I don't have to live with an abusive, violent controlling bully :)

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Solasum · 29/10/2014 20:47

You'd get working tax credits offset against child are, which would help with the cost, and in some areas 2 year olds now get free hours as well.

Do not be lonely. It sounds creepy, but on Mumsnet there is always someone to listen to you, however early or late it is.

Solasum · 29/10/2014 20:47

Smile. Yes, it is all up from here.

Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 20:48

Thanks, not creepy at all

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Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 20:50

I've been in bits thinking about how we were, but I need to look at the reality of how we are. I've felt close to the edge but getting stronger

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Monathevampire1 · 29/10/2014 20:51

Stbx might want to sell house and split 50/50 but his and your little cone still need housing. Think you need legal advice.

Solasum · 29/10/2014 20:53

At the beginning I found it really helped me to focus purely on the practicalities, and try and ignore the emotional side. Then when all the practical stuff was sorted somehow the emotional bit didn't seem anywhere near as important any more.

Do be kind to yourself though. Are you managing to eat and sleep?

Mumziia · 29/10/2014 20:54

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Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 21:01

Barely eating, if at all. Sleeping is tough, I wake and for a split second don't remember what's happened, then I'm sobbing

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Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 21:03

No thanks mumzila, but thanks for preying on the weak

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Solasum · 29/10/2014 21:08

It will get better, I promise. Thanks

You need to eat though. Anything is better than nothing. Your DS needs you to stay strong for him. It doesn't have to be gourmet cuisine, it is called comfort food for a reason. Try some bread and soup, something simple. And keep drinking water. You will probably be crying for a while yet, but you will physically at least give yourself a chance if you are not seriously dehydrated and running on empty

Could you go and stay with family for a while? Are you still both in the same same house?

Solasum · 29/10/2014 21:10

Eating might seem like less of a big deal if you make yourself eat something small every time you feed DS?

Mumziia · 29/10/2014 21:26

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Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 21:30

Sorry mumzilla, I saw numbers and emails and assumed, that's wrong of me

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Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 21:31

He says he still loves me, didn't want to leave.

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Solasum · 29/10/2014 21:33

So you are at home alone with DS? Can you get a friend to come and stay?

Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 21:35

Not really, I lost all my friends along the way. But my dad and sis are on the phone or can pop by once in a while

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Solasum · 29/10/2014 21:39

Make sure they do!

I am going to bed now, but seriously, if you wake up in the middle of the night and need an audience, there will always be someone on the chat boards. Lone parents can be quite quiet

Original poster
latorgator · 29/10/2014 21:43

Thanks xx

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Original poster
latorgator · 21/11/2014 22:49

I crumbled and took him back, we've had a terrible fight in the mean time but still together. Should have stuck with it. You are all so much stronger than me x

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BlackeyedSusan · 21/11/2014 22:55

still does not mean that you can not leave again. work on an exit strategy. get legal advice. put some money away.