dealing with differnt DC not seeing/seeing dad

[cestlavielife]

is getting v complex with dd1 14 not wanting to / unable to see dad (have reported him for assault on her and awaiting process via police etc, i expecting him to be arrested nx week...); dd2 12 still keen to see him [well until he flips when he gets arrested] - but eg Halloween party this Friday he wants to go to "because I have the right to and I want to see both my daughters" he doesn't accept what he did was wrong]

how to protect dd1 from dad while dd2 is ok having him there..and make sure dd1 doesn't have to miss out on a party coz her dad will be there? .doing my head in.

don't know why that link is there sorry!

If you are in any doubt about your daughters' safety, you need to keep them away from him. Can you ask the police for advice?

Are you saying that he's insisting on seeing DD1 when she doesn't want to see him? Because at 14 I'm not sure that he has the right to demand contact. I would have thought at that age it would be the child's decision.

Hopefully someone will be along to confirm if that is correct. DD2 (14) is not seeing her dad at the moment but he's not bothered yet. I'd like to know where we stand if he does insist on contact.

yeh SS and police have advised she does not need to see him at all; on that i have no issue. however as he hasn't yet been arrested cautioned advised to stay away I can only ask him - which of course he refusing eg in context of the party which both dds supposed to be going to and will involve going out on street trick or treating... . "I will go and you cannto stop me" obv if any incident I can call police...

and dd2 for now still wants to see him [or is too scared to say no to him bit of both....

What a horrid situation, I read your other thread about the actual issues.

Could you also go so you can intervene if necessary? Not ideal I know

That's really horrible for you all. So is it the trick or treating that he's going to 'gatecrash'? I know it's not fair but I'd probably keep the girls at home rather than risk any harm (emotional or physical) coming to them. Can you do something else nice with them instead?

Maybe DD2 needs you to make the decision for her regarding whether or not she sees her dad. My DD2 is too scared to stand up to her dad so in the past I've had to tell him that's it's my decision that she can't go somewhere or do something, even though it's not. I do that for her because I know how intimidating he is.