registering name of baby...

[America1]

Hello everyone,

my husband left me out of the blue im 34 weeks pregnant and getting stronger.

I have read online that aslong as I have our marriage cert I can register birth on my own and name our baby whatever I like...ie my maiden name.

anyone have any recent experience of this? And maybe if this wikl impact upom divorce proceedings?

thanks
x

And can your gp refuse to change your name? That absolutely wouldn't happen here. If you'd just changed your name on marriage, would they refuse to use your married name if it was your choice to use it??? I think I'd be creating a bit of a stink about it if I were you.

OK now I know I'm really harping on about it but I'm really pissed off on your behalf.

When you marry, you CHOOSE (or not as in my case) to use your husband's name. There's no deed poll involved or necessary. There's also no need to change your name, you simply start to use your new name and bit by bit you change all your banks, driving licence, passport etc. SO you never stop being your old name, you just use your new name and it is what you become known as. But you're still your old name too so why can't you just revert to it and I'd be so MAD!!!! if the bloody gp decides you can't use the name you were born with. I'd love to march down to their office now to sort this out.

I rang three times. They wont budge I need a deed poll or divorce papers! I have a solicitors appointment booked soon to enquire. I dont have a lot of fight left now which I did!

You poor thing. This drives me mad. Even if you and your shitty ex were still happily married, you would be perfectly entitled to use your maiden name. I can understand you being exhausted by it all. What an utter bastard.

Mine all mine. I think England is different. Scotland is the same as Ireland by the sound of it, you just start using a name but I'm pretty sure in England you do need a deed poll or a statutory declaration

Yes, I think you're right. Here, you are whatever you call yourself - something called 'common usage' if memory serves. I'm so mad on America's behalf. She's going through enough with bureaucracy making life harder.

Deed polls mean nothing.

America1 - you doctor cannot refuse. I would suggest you lay the paper trail telling them to change your documentation to what you like. If they refuse, contact the Clinical commissioning group they are part of. Specifically contact the `Caldicot Guardian' and explain the situation.

As an adult you have the right to call yourself what you like and unless you are doing so to mislead no one can stop you.

This contrasts with childrens' names however as they are under the ambit of the Children Act.

Ooh, I lo e it when someone really knows their stuff. Great post, lost dad.

Thanks lostdad will try on monday and see
What they say....fingers crossed!

The thing is you won't be giving your child your surname because your surname is currently the same as his yes? So change your surname first. Also if you remarry don't take a mans name again and change it to be different from your sons.

I can call my babys name anything I want I have already spoken to a registrar about it even being married.
remarry? Ha! Please don't swear at me :)

I know that you can. It just makes more sense and you'll have more of a case against your husband changing it if you actually have the same name as your son. So both have your maiden name for example.

I have it back at my hospitals my passport....just not gps and banks yet....hmmm wonder what bank will say! Mortgage is in maiden name...never got round to it :)

Hi lostdad
just read Caldicott website and it says I will need a divorce papers to change name or a deed poll!

You could go through the hassle of trying to get them to do what they should be doing it you can just go to a free deed poll website and spend 60 seconds filling in a form and printing...

I'm not sure how it works in the UK but can you just register at a different GP practice?

Im heavily pregnant and on crutches wouldn't be ideal atm to change. Yep my husband is no where to be seen. Cant wait to get my name back. Im going. To try the free deed poll. Got no bloody printer!

I really feel for you. What an utter rotter. I hope there's karma for a shit like him. I hope you have good real life support because I'd imagine that this is about as stressful a situation as they come to have to deal with.

I'm sending you a huge big viral (((((hug)))))

Couldn't do this without my mam. The same happened to her so just us. Funny how life repeats.
yes I really really want karma to exist...im just waiting for the announcement that he has someone else as there are no explanations for this appalling behaviour.

What about his parents? Have they been supportive of you? Not looking to be nosy here so ignore if you want. I would be so ashamed of my son if he did something like this.

None of his family have been in touch. None.

Well then he's cut from the same cloth as them.

At the end of all of this, you'll have a lovely baby and you'll look at him or her and say it was worth the pain of what you're going through now to have that exact little person in your life.

Totally different situation but my second child is adopted and I look at her and thank God for all the IUIs and IVFs that didn't work, as hard as it was at the time when each of them failed. I thank god that it took 7 years to adopt because we hit every possible bump on the road. If it wasn't for all the sadnesses, we wouldn't have the most truly amazing girl in our family. We had to wait for her to be born.

You'll look at your child and say, 'This was why I had to meet him and go through all that shite. To make this perfect little person.'

I'm glad you have your mam. Mams are the absolute best.

Thank you for these words. Yeh the apple didn't fall too far from the tree!
Just wish my baby was here so I could forget everything.