Direct contact

[astewart]

Ex wants phone contact every night with the kids, the like the play out and do their own thing so I suggested a few nights a week instead of every night.
He wants them to ring him. Am I being petty in that he should be ringing them?? Kids are 10 and 6.

No, you are not being petty.

Also, I believe he's being unreasonable to expect phone every night.

Does he ever have F2F time with the children?

No he refuses. Court next week.
He's just told me social services have told him they are recommending shared care?
This doesn't mean 50/50 time does it? It means what can be managed without causing disruption? Ie, getting to school etc? He can't get them to school?

No it doesn't, and I wouldn't trust the word of someone you are in conflict against who will tend to embellish, and that's being polite.

Ask him to show you the report that they have written recommending this - there won't be one.

Is this the first directions hearing?

If so then any reports required will be ordered by the judge, and they will be written by CAFCASS in the first instance.

I assume there are no welfare concerns and he just crap at parenting?

It's a first hearin for a second time. He took me for access, section 7 was ordered and he cancelled because things didn't go his way in the section 7, then he kicked out or DS 12 was living with him so he could go on holiday, I got my own order. In the mean time DS and ex have both said DS lied about being kicked out. I have emails staying he asked him to leave and to go collect his things etc.

phone contact with kids is often pointless unless they really keen. you could set up Skype or facetime (facing a blank wall so doesn't impinge on you) and let them run in and out as they wish

It is pointless I think. They just can't be bothered, they'd sooner play, which is why I said he should call them, if they answer they'll speak, if they don't, they don't........ Their call! I just feel, he's the adult, he should call them, make them feel wanted.
He refused contact when ss tried to put interim in place after the first directions hearing which he started, just going round and round in circles and I'm sick of it now.

The advantage of getting children to call - is that they can call at a time when they are happy to talk and its convenient (ie not a meal time/half way through atv show or game).

If you suggest they call but they dont want to thats their choice. Make sure they know you are happy for them to call, remind/encourage as appropriate but if they dont want to then parent will have to accept this.
is my opinion