I'm fed up with being strong

[Hesaysshewaffles]

My road to recovery has tested me to the limit; DH's affair, adjusting to being a LP, divorce, selling house and moving etc. I'm in such a great place and so so proud of achieving what I have on my own with pretty much zilch support from anyone else. BUT a part of me is fed
up of being strong on my
own all the time. Does that make sense? Has anyone else felt this?

Hello hesaysshewaffles ...............I can totally relate to being fed up with being strong all the time. It sounds like you have done a great job in forging ahead with the odds stacked against you. It can be exhausting. It would be lovely to wake up and not worry about bills, mortgage, ex & OW. You are in a great place now and on the road to recovery as you say.........and everything you have been through will help you build a better future. It is lonely but i try to revel in the small things.....double bed to myself, crappy dvd's on a sunday afternoon, reading great books and starting my upholstery course.

[Flowers] xxxx

Thanks mummymcphee. You've cheered me up this morning

Totally get where you're coming from

I found counselling really helped, I wasn't depressed but I needed to get some support for myself before I got there

It was my space to off load, to have a little cry, to let my guard down

I would recommend it to everyone

Every day.........

The major storm of our split has died down now, and I think my adrenaline has worn off. I am relishing being on my own and it is all settling into a new 'normal' for me. But it is relentless! I'm juggling so many balls at once, I can't help but drop a few, so I feel like I am constantly failing at one thing or another.

I'm trying to take each day as it come, coz if I think of the entire week ahead, it's too much to think of and I get anxious. I think I just need more time to gain that confidence in myself that I can manage it mostly successfully and it will all be ok in the end.

Bob Marley said, 'You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice'.

I am too in counselling.

I've actually had quite a bit of counselling, so I will book a refresher.

I kind of crumbled a bit today and confided in someone I've not before and she said I've come through so much and am the strongest person she knows. I nearly cried happy tears as no ones every recognised/praised me before.

How ironic, I'm ordering that bob Marley quote as a wall sticker to go above my bed!

Me too!

I never discuss it with anyone as I'm scared that once I open up I will completely fall apart and not know how to pick myself back up again. It's truly exhausting.

I'd love counselling but the nhs counsellor left a year ago and hasn't been replaced.

Hey, so inspiring to read....

my husband left me.two months ago. Im now 34 weeks pregnant on my own with spd! Im yearning to get super strong...I know I will its just getting there. I start some sessions of counselling this week.

about the adrenaline wearing off - i think this is very significant! its been 2.5 years for me. the first year and a half i was running on adrenaline, there was a lot of conflict between us, i was getting used to being on my own. now i am building my life back up, adrenaline no longer gives me the energy i need so i am a lot more tired, but i am more at peace as things are more settled. i have put the divorce on the back burner for awhile. I guess its just about putting the effort out now to build a good support network - friends, church, hobbies, that kind of thing, and being kind to yourself when you can't juggle everything at once. i have a counsellor but im too tired to see her every week as its a good drive away and i need my spare time to rest/housework. but i see her every few weeks and she is great.

I think that's it. Adrenalin has run out. When I was running on it I could do everything and now it's run out, it's kind of like "is this it". I also think that the past 20 months have been the hardest I've ever experienced in my whole life and I've faced so many hurdles and overcome them. I often ask myself "when is something amazing going to happen which makes the pain worth it". I had a whole weekend to be free and a bit lazy and it actually felt great. I think I've been so busy recently that I've forgotten about myself. I'm truly skint at the moment but I might pop a massage or something on the credit card to cheer myself up.

My stbxh left me in August this year for the OW. So now it's just me and my two girls. I'm scared to death of being a single parent.

However, when I look back I don't remember him being that supportive anyway. He was emotionally abusive and controlling.

So how can I miss the support if it wasn't there anyway? He was always working and then didn't want to be part of the family on 'his downtime'. So perhaps I've always been a single parent - just didn't realise it.

Plus he's now using the children to get back at me - for some reason I'm the one he wants to destroy.

I've hit a bit of a bad patch recently....moved to small (horrible) house a year ago after divorce finally settled in court.
Now feeling like I've got too much to deal with...DC,promotion at work,bills,car,etc ...some stuff I didn't do previously.
Try not to dwell etc but hard to keep busy,moved to new area.
How do you go about getting counselling?