So how do you introduce a new partner?

[MozzchopsThirty]

Dd has met him but she's 18. They get on well and she really likes him

I've had a few boyfriends since the end of my marriage but nothing I've ever felt comfortable enough with to even bring to the house let alone meet the dcs

The dcs are 9 and 5

Any ideas on how to broach the subject or how to move slowly forward would be great thanks

I wouldn't introduce anyone until I was in a committed relationship, but even so I was not upfront with DS until I knew he was also right for DS.

I have plenty of friends, male and female, so in front of DS i just acted towards new boyfriend as if he was just any other friend. I didn't even mentioned we were together (or acted as if we were) until I was pretty sure that BF and DS were getting along well.

We are in a committed relationship

I don't really have male friends that would come to the house.
Also not sure about going down the 'this is mums friend' line

Well, call me a prude but I have never do friends-with-benefits so I was confident that DS was not going to take the other end of the stick.
But my house is often full of people so, he didn't find it strange to see someone else joining the group

Bump

The 9 yo won't be fooled by the 'mum's friend' thing, especially if you don't have other male friends.

Just be honest, say you've met someone nice, you've been out together and you get on well and you think they'd like him. I'm sure they'll ask to meet him, so just make it something light and fun, cinema or quick dinner to say hello, but not too long that they get fed up with him. Then just take it gradually.

Until they meet each other you won't know if there are any issues, so if you're serious about him it's better for him to meet the DCs so that you can rule him in or out. If they hate him you will have to consider if you can pursue it further.

As long as you're not introducing new BFs all the time, they'll adjust. We all have the odd moment with blended families, but hopefully you will find ways to deal with any problems as they crop up. Good luck.

Thank you Penelope

I'm gonna discuss it with exh first and then maybe just meet for coffee at some play centre so the kids can come and go as they please and don't feel they have to sit and talk

Do they know he exists? It might be better to introduce the idea of him first rather than ta-daaaa this is my boyfriend.

Oh absolutely I was going to tell them first

Hi mozzchops my dcs were 9 and 6. I also talked to ex first just to tell him I was introducing them. At first he just came around for a cup of tea and some dinner with us and as my friend. Stayed a couple of hours and left. We didn't kiss or anything in front of them. Then we saw him out at a park for an hour. After the second or third time my youngest said is he your boyfriend so I was just honest. We've built it up slowly so he comes over a couple of times a week maybe for dinner or something and we take his dog out on a weekend sometimes which they enjoy. He did bring them some haribo which went down well!

Good luck. It's hard to know what to do for the best but I think if you feel it's the next step to take it. As another poster put you need to know if they get along, from his view and theirs. And how he will be with them is just as important as how he is with you.