Tell me it will be OK?

[CaptainSinker]

Think DP and I are going to split up.

Things have been difficult for a long time and. I don't have the energy left any more. Am realising I will be happier alone or with someone else. I lurch between sadness and a sense of relief.

Am worried about my lovely 3yo DD though, she loves us both of course. I want things to be right for her. Also I am 37 and very broody for another one!

Have lovely family support though they are nearly all on holiday ATM. Need a hand to hold I suppose and reassurance things will better on the other side.

My cousins dh left her when her son was the same age as your dd. her family were all away at the time it happened too.
it was hard but she has such a close relationship with her ds now and is so much more confident. Her exh always put her down and she was seriously lacking confidence.
Ds has a good relationship with his dad although she doesn't get on with him.
She goes on holiday with her family who have kids too and she has had two partners since in 6 years but nothing serious as she is happy by herself.
She does eventually want to settle down again but for now they are a happy family of 2. We are much closer now too and see more if each other - she has many more friends now too as she makes the effort to get out.
So it's not all bad!

Thanks Purple

I second Purple's sentiments. I split with my DC's dad when they were 4 and 2 (well, he left) and I thought there was no way I would cope but 2 years on I am mostly happy and, like Purple's cousin, so much more confident and decisive. Two cliches - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and time is a great healer. I think they both are accurate in this context. Life is quite hard now, but actually life sounds as though it has been hard for you for a while, with all the emotional pushing and pulling of a struggling relationship. You might find the relief takes over the sadness quite quickly.
My kids have a great relationship with their dad as I've tried so hard to keep my own feelings separate (voodoo doll comes out when they're in bed ;-)) I know that's not always possible, but I hope it is for you and your DD. Could you maintain the status quo until your family come back from hols so that you have support, or is it too late for that? Hugs x

Thanks Charlie, that is very helpful. I am staying with my brother to tonight and can stay as long as I want though brother has to go away for a couple of days from tomorrow morning.

Lots of different feelings. Scared I'll back down and we will stay together with nothing changed. Scared of leaving.

It is so hard, I don't know your situation but often in life there's no right or wrong decision, is there, just decisions we make that feel right at the time. Give it a couple of days and see how you feel then. Try and get as much sleep as you can and try and have some time just tuning out (TV? Meditation if that's your thing, a long bath) so that the chatter in your head calms down and you can think clearly. And lots of cuddles with DD obv - good for both of you. x

Thanks. It is hard to clear my mind when it is whirring with thoughts, but I am trying!