conversation needed please!

[maisystar]

hi am new to this....am 25 (and single) with a delightful(?) 3 yr old son and just realised that i have not spoken to anyone xcept my son tday! how sad am i? its no wonder im losing the knack of conversation. is there anyone else in the same boat?

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hi have actually had cool day with ds eaten eggs of the chocolate variety, watched cbeebies, and made easter pressies for family visiting tmoro. dont really know any other single parents so wkends etc tend to be a bit quiet. must try harder!

Hello maisystar. I am single too but at 40 maybe a bit more worldly wise. My prob is also not speaking sensibly to anyone for ages, apart from the usual checkout, petrol, etc etc.
My girl B (12) is giving me the run around at present, so most of my talking is in raised voices and tantrums and by the time that's over I am exhausted.
What she wants to wear is too revealing, what she wants to read is too explicit and whatever I say is 'just not fair'. She is one of two, J is 16 and much easier, but what I am trying to say is think beyond the house and make sure you do things when time and work permits.

HI maisy, i am 25 on wednesday, anad have two children, i am not single but husband works alot so i know how it feels to only speak to your little ones. Sometimes you need adult company. Your not sad. Do you go to a amother and toddler group? Or does he go to preschool or nursery, perhaps you could start talking to other mums. And you'll probably find theres quite alot of lonely mums out there.

Plus mumsnet is a agreat help, you feel like your talking to other mums even though you're staring at a screen. NOw i probably sound sad!! lol.

Maisystar I just came from your thread about schools and I would just like to say that if you send your ds to the local school probably a whole new social life for both of you will open up. It certainly did for me. I would count some of the other Mums at school as my best friends now (my eldest is 12 so I have known some of them a long time)
Of course you'd get that at any school, but easier if its nearby and you can casually stand around chatting at the gate and invite children/parents back.
But anyway I do know how you feel, I know I used to be desperate to get out at least once a day when I was at home with ds1 when he was little. As they get older and can hold more of a conversation it does get easier.

The other thought I had is that sometimes it can seem as if everyone is busy with their families at weekend but its not neccessarily the case. I am usually very happy if a friend phones at the weekend to suggets meeting at the park or something.

Just to say that I know weekends are really tough - I'm facing one with nothing in it starting tomorrow! There are very few activities for small kids (no toddler groups etc) and many friends just seem to bunker down with their other halves.

Maybe the secret is to try to meet other single parents, but I've not had much luck with Gingerbread - have you tried this?

Sheila - weekends are hard when you're a single parent. I make a point to go out and do things so that we're not staring at the 4 walls all day. You're right that there are few organised activities at the weekend, but there is still plenty to do. I usually make some sort of vague plan so I'm not at a loose end and vulnerable to feeling isolated.

Tomorrow we're taking a picnic lunch to a park. Will bring dd's wellies as there is a lovely little stream, and she'll be absolutely delighted to spend an hour wading/throwing pebbles. The next day we'll probably go to a nearby church (after service). She loves to look at the stained glass windows, walk up and down the centre aisle and sit in various pews. Sometimes we're lucky enough to hear the organist playing, and dd is absolutely entranced. We play games to and from the church - walking along a high wall with me holding her hand for balance, etc. It's fun time together where we simply enjoy each other with no chores or errands to interfere. The time passes quickly, and I find I enjoy the time with dd much more.

I suppose what makes the difference between a lonely weekend, and a "bonding" weekend with dd is simply making a plan in advance rather than depending on my feeble imagination to come up with something entertaining on the spot. If I don't have at least a vague plan, we are far more at risk for a depressing two days. Good luck and let us know how you get on.