Daughter's best friend leaving school

[sunflowerfi]

my 8 year old daughter came home from school today devastated that her best friend is moving schools. Apparently the reason behind it is some of the boys are picking on her. My daughter is now saying these boys are picking on her too. There has always been a bit of a boy/girl divide in the class. The girls on the whole are lovely and their mums are all lovely too and I know if my daughter had a problem with any of the girls I could approach the mum directly and get it sorted. However the mums of the boys even seem to be part of a kind of 'PTA, Parent helper, school governer clique' or to be blunt 'a bit chavvy'.
So now I am worried my daughter is being picked on by boys, she is also saying the girl who is leaving is the only friend she has. Not sure how true this is as she had a birthday party last week and 5 of them came to that and they all seemed to get on fine and as I say I'm good friends with all their mums.
Its parents evening this week-want to raise my concerns with the teachers but not sure if that will make much difference.
Anyone been in similar situation. Hate the thought of her being miserable at school but don't want to swap her school as my son is really happy there

If I am honest, it sounds like your DDs friend is a bit flakey. Sometimes people jump from one school to another and never develop any coping strategies or backbone. I think your DD is just copying her friend's complaints. If you know the parents,can you not discuss the fact that this girl's departure is upsetting your DD? I would actually stay put if there are other friends and most people are ok. In my experience boys don't count in the lives of girls for a few years now, other than observing them, so usually girls stay together and become resilient to stupid boys. If you are generally happy with the school and most of the children, you should stay.

I would suggest that your daughter is copying her freind, in the hope that you will move her to the same school he friend is going.

On another note - astonished that in your world being a member of the PTA/parent governor/helper equates to being a "bit chavvy"

Milly are you really calling an 8 year old flakey? Christ! Are you the boys mother?

It's tough to lose a BFF (aren't they all at that age?). We've been through it and ime it's important to keep the friendship going outside school. It will be hard for your dd (it was for ours) but regular play dates will help.
As for the other kids not being nice - talk to teacher first and see what s/he says?

As for why the friend is moving - your dd and her friend haven't necessarily got it right. Is it a good or 'better' school she's moving to? Subjective I know . . .

Good luck.

I meant the boys mums all seem to EITHER be the parent helper, governor, PTA clique OR the chavvy type who swear at their kids and drag them around.

I do agree with the comment that swapping schools is not the answer. I actually started a new primary school (all be it in a new area) when I was my DDs age and hated the experience as once the initial new girl novelty had worn off I realized friendships were already established.

I am going to try and work with my daughter on strategies for dealing with bullies, being assertive not aggressive and making friends. She does drama after school club which she loves so when I pointed out if she moved schools it would mean giving up that she seemed a bit less keen to move.

I'll speak to the teacher on parents evening about the boys. They really do seem a nasty bunch of boys.

hmmm...not sure I would call a 8 yr old flakey for moving schools as I guess it is the parents decision, nit the childs demands.

Op, you need to go in to school to address it, if it doesn't make a difference with the teachers, see the head,don't be put off by a lack of action, you justgo higher up to get thingsdealt with.

withregards to freindship, itcan be ok, my neice's bestest bestest friend left in year 4 and they swore they would bein touch every day...a few months later they are never in contact!!

I would mention to teacher what daughter has said but I would also be wary of the fact she will want to follow her friend.

I have told my DC that should anyone hurt him on purpose he needs to tell the teacher not me as it means he needs to deal with it.

I think the boy/girl divide at this age is quite normal , my DS who gets on really well with girls tends to play with a group of boys except when he falls out with them then goes to play with the girls as they will say there there to him