Never good enough.

[blackSheep1]

Hi. Am I the only one who feels that they don't measure up to everyone's expectations?!

I'm a young (20y) single mother living at home and my lo is 2. Shes a delightful child and I'm so blessed to have her. However the biggest hurdle I have always faced is my family.

They are constantly telling me what I can and can't do with my own child. In my ear about how I am not good enough.

I get back into work to provide and be a role model - I'm a bad mum. Apparently if I'm going to have children then I should bring her up my self.

Tidy up after the 3 adults and my lo, told I never do enough in the house.

My princess has eczema so i have to constantly cream her, poor things has to wear long sleeves and trousers/leggings - bad mum for not dressing her in 'pretty dresses'. Not like I'm trying to prevent her from her skin breaking.

Go back for another college course - apparently I'm only worrying about my self.

Leave work to look after my sick gran and LO - selfish that I'm no contribute to the house.

Pleaseeeeee, someone. Is anyone in this sort of situation.

My LO is an angel. It's the 'support' that brings me down and makes me feel like a shit mum. :'(

I am wondering how they treated you before your little girl was born?

Have you tried sitting down with them telling them how you feel?

I think this is very much a 'single mum' thing....damned if you do and damned if you don't. Everyone and anyone has an opinion about the kind of people we are and how we should be doing things better.

Go out to work full time - poor children, constantly in childcare, she's putting her career first, she should be at home with her children
Go out to work part-time - who does she think she is? able-bodied, capable of work, why doesn't she work full-time? being a single parent isn't an excuse for not working, is it?
Don't work - poor children with that as a role model, benefit scrounger, can't be bothered, feckless, 'lifestyle'....

People believe they have a right to an opinion about you, even though they don't know you. They can talk about the fact you're single, they can talk about the fact you were seen in the pub with a man, they can wonder out loud about how many 'uncles' your child has had, they can make comments such as 'do all your children have the same father' and you're expected to answer without batting an eyelid, they can say 'poor ex' having to support his child whilst she works/doesn't work/only works part-time, they can make comments about 'people on benefits' very loudly within earshot, they can say 'did you marry young/do you have an education/did he beat you/does he bother with this children/does he pay maintenance and if so, how much, isn't that a lot especially when you are working fulltime/part time/not working at all, they can say 'but you but have known what he was like' and 'why did you have more than one child with him if that's what he was like' and other shite....and they can do it because as far as they're concerned they're somehow better than you because you're a single mum and they're not.

I'm not bitter, honest! Some of the things people have said to me would make your hair curl and I am a 40 something, educated professional who's husband ran off with...well, the less said about her the better. My family have supported me, to be fair, but I come across people on a daily basis who believe that they know me. They don't and I smile sweetly at their crap and nod and wave and pretend I don't hear it. I suspect I am also considered to be a little simple...!