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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

taking young DC's to the beach is a nightmare for a LP...isn't it?

15 replies

meglet · 01/09/2014 21:14

Or maybe it's just me .

The dc's are 7 and 5, they can swim almost a length in lessons but are in no way confident or strong swimmers yet. Certainly not tough enough for the sea. I am a strong swimmer though. If they were teenagers and strong swimmers I'd not worry, but IMO they're too young to body board / swim / splash about on their own.

So why do my bloody family sneer at me when I say it's impossible, stressful to take them on my own?

One child wants to do one thing, one wants to do another, they can cope at different depths in the sea (5yo would happily 'board' on ankle-bashers, 7yo is happy to go up to his chest) so I don't want to stray too far from either of them....and who is going to mind the car keys, bag and towels while I'm trying to watch two kids in the sea. I'm considered silly for not wanting to leave all our stuff unattended.

I can get one of those waterproof pouches for my keys so I would only have to leave the towels, dry clothes and snacks on the beach and can leave the valuables in the car but even then I'm a nervous wreck trying to watch both of them in the water.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

campingfilth · 01/09/2014 22:49

I only have one but I go to the beach with him on my own and he is nearly 5. We just play about and leave the stuff where I can see it.

Just stand in the water between both kids and if they can swim a bit they should be fine. My mum used to take all 3 of us down the beach and none of us could swim.

I think you just need to chill out more and have fun rather than worrying.

HereBeHubbubs · 02/09/2014 02:19

I'd be the same if it was me.

You're unlikely to be the only one on the beach. Camp up near a trusty looking family and ask them to keep an eye on your stuff whilst you're in the sea.

Stick armbands on the youngest even if they resist so you can keep them at hand whilst eagle eyeing the other. Or floatsuits on both.

Tides are strong and if the water is murky brown once a child goes under and gets caught in the current, it can be hard to spot them immediately.

Ignore the comments about being more chilled out. Water is the last thing a parent should be complacent around.

Original poster

meglet · 02/09/2014 07:23

herebehububs I did amuse myself trying to spot 'trusty' mumsnetty type families actually . MN HQ needs to whip up some flags so we can spot each other on the beach.

OP posts:

ChiefBillyNacho · 02/09/2014 08:41

I could never "chill a bit" with a little one near water. I watch dd like a hawk and still have a tendency to do so now she's older. If I'd had two to watch it would be really difficult.

I can completely see where you are coming from with needing three pairs of eyes! Not exactly a relaxing day for you is it?

kelda · 02/09/2014 08:44

Even with my dh, I cannot relax on the beach with my children. I am terrified that they will run off, or drown, especially as the older two are good swimmers, but they could still get into difficulty in the sea.

And I say this as someone who would take my three children, all under five at the time, swimming in the pool on my own.

Original poster

meglet · 02/09/2014 09:27

chiefbilly not in the least bit relaxing (and that's saying something on the stressed LP scale), pity I can't have a swim to calm down afterwards!

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HonoraryOctonaut · 02/09/2014 09:34

I have 4 boys and find it such hard work trying to do most stuff, especially as the youngest are 3 and 1. Swimming is a total no, I just don't have enough hands and can't watch them all, even the park is hard work as they all go in different directions. I've booked a holiday abroad for next year, first time I'm taking them all away, so we will be on the beach or round the pool a lot. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage them all to be honest especially as the youngest is under a referal for autism and is especially hard work.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 02/09/2014 09:43

I live walking distance of a beach and I always had dreams of spending everyday on the beach with the kids.

When DS was tiny we practically lived on the beach. Then when DD arrived I realised it was too stressful to go unless DH was with us or if I arranged to go with another mum.

It's the trying to watch them both while making sure your belongings are safe. Toilet trips are a nightmare - I took a porta potty for the kids even though the toilets are really close to the beach. Me going to the loo was not an option!

Now they are older ( 8 and 6) I can manage a trip to the beach on my own again.

HereBeHubbubs · 02/09/2014 11:40

Angels Seriously, you grew up on the beach and never ever wee'd in the sea? You haven't lived!

HereBeHubbubs · 02/09/2014 11:56

Meglet Stick floatsuits on them both or use a swim rein (tie one child to your wrist so you only really have to keep an eagle eye on the unreined older one). Problem solved.

As for 'thieves on the beach' :

1 Pitch up a small UV shelter tent with a zip front and padlock the zip.

2 Keep valuables in the car

3 Put valuables in a waterproof pouch around your neck

4 Theives are not interested in sandwiches and towels!

Being a strong swimmer yourself is good, but don't underestimate your ability to panic in an emergency, as you already have potential for great worry according to this post.
Keep yourself confident by visiting one of the 200 British beaches with lifeguard patrols.

cestlavielife · 02/09/2014 12:23

good advice above....if it makes you a nervous wreck don't do it til 1. thy older or 2. only when you can link with another adult/another family.

or you make it clear that you will take both to the beach so long as they follow rules about staying close etc. so they wont get the freedom they would get if you had another adult with you. their choice.

my oldest has SLD/ASD...my dds know if we go anywhere just me and all three then what they can do is more limited - easier now as they older but when they were younger it was different and it was along lines above - we can go all of us and you have to stay close etc; or we don't go at all today now until such time as we have a one to one for DS.

so don't fret, they wont suffer from not going; if they say but we want to go then make the rules clear and follow advice above.

they old enough to understand.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 02/09/2014 16:35

Hubbubs - unfortunately it's one of those beaches where if the tide is out it's about a half a mile walk to the sea ankle deep in muddy sand. Easier to use the public loos!

It's so much easier now the kids are older - we've spent lots of lovely days on the beach this summer.

Joyy · 02/09/2014 17:01

I took my 2 last year. Had a couple of wind breakers to section off a small area for ourselves. Then I had a parasol and a picnic blanket to lay on (brought all this as well as a cool box down on the buggy btw I must have been mad). Took only necessary money and car keys and put it under the blanket in the middle so would be pretty obvious if anyone messed with it. As for the sea I just went in with the little one and the big one is ok alone.

Was all going well til the tide came in and I had to lug it all off in a rush. Plus the poo LO did in the sand but we won't mention that

campingfilth · 02/09/2014 22:17

Whats wrong with chilling out about your stuff on a beach and it being okay to leave your stuff on the beach while you go in the water????

Original poster

meglet · 02/09/2014 22:37

I can't relax knowing my car keys, and therefore purse, phone and ds's allergy medication are available for any thieving chancer. I don't leave my belongings in the open at any other time so I wouldn't do it on a beach. And being a LP I feel really vulnerable a lot of the time.

herebe I do have a small UV sun tent that I could set up and keep the towels and dry clothes in actually. If I have the keys in a waterproof pouch then everything else can be locked in the car.

I make it sound like we're bloomin' surfers don't I . I have to resist squealing if seaweed touches me

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