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Concerns..

2 replies

sunflowerfi · 01/09/2014 00:17

*Please skip to the end if you don't want to read the while background story!

I am really sorry ladies as I know I only seem to post on here when I have an 'issue' and I should be more supportive when I don't but I really do value your advice.
Anyway basic background is I split with ex just over 2 years ago after an emotionally abusive relationship of about 6 years. Along with this he has bipolar disorder for which he has been sectioned several times.
Last year I raised concerns over him being emotionally abusive with my son and possible physical abuse after I discovered 'grab marks' on his arms. Social services did noting other than advise me to use my judgment about limiting contact. I did this and it resulted in a bipolar episode and sectioning. After his recovery from this my ex began to see the kids again.

However to bring me to my latest concern. My daughter has been a bit subdued lately after and before visits with her dad. I asked her today if everything was ok with him and she said she doesn't like going there cos he is always trying to kiss her and saying she is his girl friend and suggesting they have a lie down together and saying her brother is jealous of their cuddles. This has knocked me sick. I can't imagine he would be doing anything sexually abusive but I still feel this is not 'normal' dad behaviour.
He never showed any sign of sexual abuse towards me when we were together nor gave me any reason to suspect he would be that way towards the children-however he has always been quite overly physical with our daughter and not accepted it if she has pushed him away or tried to escape from him cuddling her she she is not a particularly tactile child,
please give me your honest opinions..

OP posts:
inthename · 01/09/2014 07:16

I'd go and see your gp for advice. It may be that social services need to meet up with him just to chat through the boundaries and that as she is asking him not to be overly physically affectionate he should respect that.
If you feel its more than that, contact ss immediately and restrict the contact as necessary whilst they investigate

cestlavielife · 01/09/2014 12:22

stop contact until this is cleared.
how old is she?

he is overstepping boundaries.

is there a court order?

it may be he just needs someone to explain to him he needs to respect dds boundaries but it isn't fair on her. yes small kids joke about "marrying mum/dad" when they older but this is not appropriate behaviour.

call nspcc helpline and talk it through and ask about next steps.

tell dd she doesn't have to see him for a while except fully supervised contact - is there someone who could supervise?

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