Access agreement!?! Need advice please.

[Lookingforabetteryear]

Hi All, I've posted on here once before and found it helpful. Anyway ex partner and I have a baby togther. He's a difficult man to say the least. We live 200 miles apart. He constantly claims that he would like he baby 100 pc of the time and I could visit at weekends- farsical as he wouldn't be able to cope. Anyway he suggested with my agreement( as it was the most reasonable suggestion from him) that he would see baby every other weekend. One weekend for one full day then the next weekend for two full days and a night, then half the holidays. My problem is that he refuses to confirm exact Times/ place of meeting until upto even the hour before access. He has also
Been know to cancel. When I try to forward plan access he ignores all txts n calls. How do I create a formal and legal arrangement? What's best thing to do!?!

Isn't it a pain when people won't plan.

I would send him an e-mail stating that you need to put a proper plan in place. Tell him that you are really happy with his suggestion of contact every other weekend and you are more than happy to work with him to plan this. Tell him that to enable contact to happen you need to agree and confirm pick-up venue and time in advance, so you can ensure that you plan to get the baby there. You could make the suggestion that you have the same pick-up venue and time each weekend. Then say I look forward to your response and suggested venue and time.

If he doesn't respond, then contact can't happen. Leave the ball in his court.

Where will contact take place? so he drives 200 miles to collect and then all the way back? he drives to yours and stays locally with family or something? 200 miles is what, 4 hour drive or something?
Personally I think as you live 200 miles apart every other weekend is too much. It might be ok when your baby is tiny but as he/she grows they will spend far too long in the car at weekends. Unless the plan is for one or both of you to move closer to each other which would facilitate greater contact I would actually suggest its more like 1 weekend a month and then some time for holidays. That might not seem like a lot but its the reality when parents live so far from each other

He travels up then stays in hotel or with friend. In holidays he will travel back home with baby.