Ex told me he dislikes our baby

[Steelojames]

We have very little contact, & have from my pregnancy as he is a manipulative, spiteful, lying, selfish man.
He was very abusive and I managed to get out.

He has in the past said my child looks like he is in care as he doesn't wear shoes (he is 10 months old, cannot walk and it was a scorching hot day that day he happened to see him & I shouldn't have to explain my parenting), he refuses to see him because of csa involvement but has now totally blown it by saying he "dislikes him."
I know he is angry at me for calling child maintenance, however to say this about a baby is unacceptable.

I don't know why but I'm quite hurt.

You're hurt because he's being horrible about your baby and you're instinct is to protect. Well done from getting away from this man and run like the wind/avoid him like the plague. Anyone who makes comments like that is evidencing their inability to parent without damaging your son.

Bring up your son independently of this man if you can or until he makes significant changes and evidences that.

Good luck OP and don't take his comments to heart, he's just trying to control you emotionally by using your son

He's done you a favour. He's clearly a revolting piece of shit and now you have the perfect excuse to never see him again. Your baby will be better off without this horrible man in his life.

He's clearly not the slightest bit interested in his child, so I would cut all contact. Why even bother with someone so vile?

OP, you have had a lucky escape. He sounds like a right twunt. Even if it was said in the heat of the moment it is a very sinister thing to say about a baby (along with the other insults he has hurled at you both from what you say).

I definitely wouldn't pursue any arrangements for this vile man to have access to or see your lovely little DS (especially alone).

Stay strong for yourself and your little boy.

Your son is better off with just you.

How is it possible to dislike a baby? He couldn't be trusted to look after your son after saying that.

Thanks guys, you have made me feel better already.
Yes he has no involvement or rights, doesn't know where we live and has seen my son only a handful of times.
He won't be seeing my child again.

Good, glad to hear it. Your child has absolutely nothing to gain by having this tosser in his life. I take it his name's not on the birth certificate or anything?

Your ex is disgusting piece of scum.

You made the the very best choice by getting away from this vile pig. Keep a diary of all the ridiculous, abusive things he says to you - just in case he has something up his sleeve.

A 10 month old does not need to wear shoes until he is walking confidently on his own outside. Infact it's healthiest for people to go barefoot for as much time as possible. He's an ignorant prick!!

I'm outraged on your behalf. Keep on being the wonderful mummy you are.xx

You are hurt because as his mother you find it hard to comprehend why this man doesn't adore your DS as much as you do.

I had a slightly similar situation. From pregnancy ex had nothing to do with me. I have offered plenty of times but he simply refuses to be involved with DD. I honestly don't understand how he could care so little about her but in the end you have to accept you cannot control his feelings. It's his loss.

Yeah he is not on the birth certificate, wasn't present at birth & my son has my last name.
Now he is getting older my brothers and male cousins spend time with him to provide that male bonding.
I couldn't believe he had the cheek to say my son looks like he is in care! He knows nothing!!
He says he wants to be involved but the few times he has seen my son he insults me or him & never askes about his well being.
Never again. I don't want him influencing my son and he wil not have the chance again.
Def his loss.

Glad to hear your son has your name and ex isn't on bc.

He sounds toxic. I'm sure children in care wear shoes as well! We're not living in the Victorian era.

It would start with comments like this, then it would be comments about what you do with him. Then worst of all, as your boy gets older it would probably be comments about you to him. You are doing the right thing.

My DD is 18 months old (walking) and often goes out in her pram without her shoes as she hates wearing them. What an idiot!