if your ex lives miles away - how often does he see the DC?

[skyeskyeskye]

My XH has just informed me that he is moving 2.5 hours away from here and that this will obviously affect how often he sees DD 6yo.

At the moment he sees her EOW 10am Sat to 6pm Sunday. That is it. He never sees her in the week, nor does he ring her.

Is 2.5 hours away really so far that he cannot continue to see her EOW?

He has previously refused to have her in the holidays, but is now saying that he will in future. I think he thinks that he will cut back the EOW and have her for a week in the holidays to make up for it?

Just wondered about how anyone else works it if there is a distance involved.

DSs dad lives 40 miles away and sees him, maybe, twice a year.

But then he used to live 15 minutes up the road and didn't bother then either.

(TBH id prefer if he didn't bother at all, but I feel so sad for DS about it - he's a fab wee boy)

DP lives over 200 miles away from his DD. He sees her alternate weekends, rings twice a week and has half of school holidays at our house. It is possible but depends on the commitment and budget of the non resident parent. His weekend contact costs us about £500 a month due to travel and hotel costs.

ExH lives 15 mins away and sees DDs maybe every 6 weeks for an hour and a half. Neither does he rememebver to call them.
DP lives 2 hours from his DDs, we have then EOW; one in four Sat am-Sun pm, one in four Fri pm-Sun pm. Plus mostly half the school holidays. DP does all the driving and the 4-4.5hr round trip is a killer.

As long as it's driveable (and 5 hours round trip is a lot: could you split the journey between you as a gesture of goodwill?) then EOW is totally maintainable if he wants that.

Thanks for the replies so far. It is interesting to see a comment from VFXdad It's really a matter of commitment. That said it can get exhausting travelling, but hey , any decent bloke will just get on with it if they love their dc.

Those are my thoughts exactly. He chose to leave his wife and DD and at that time said that he would see her as often as he was allowed, every day if possible.... fast forward 2 years and it is EOW and then he drops her if something more important comes along like a pop concert with his gf, or work.

There is no goodwill at all between us. I usually work on Saturdays when he has her.

He is choosing to move away from his DD, so I do very much feel that he should bear the costs of his choice, not me. He also drives for a living and can put the costs through his business.

my ex at one point lived only 6 miles away from us and still didn't see his kids

My exH sees our DS EOW and he lives about 2 hours away. We meet at a service station half way. He never lets me or DS down. He has him for a weeks holiday to Spain or wherever in the summer but no more as he works full time.

My exh lives 3.5hrs away. He see's DS twice a year and speaks to him every other week. DS is peed off with it now and cba with his Dad now.

Truthfully I think if it's his choice to move he should only do so if he maintain the same level of contact unless he absolutely has no choice in the move and even then he should 100% try his best to keep it up.

Would you consider helping out with some of the travel? I know you shouldn't have to.

My ex lives approx 5 mins walking door to door (not even 0.5 miles away) and hasn't seen our daughter for over a year. Not that it bothers me one bit.

Ds dad moved to Ireland when I was pregnant (I am in uk) he flies over once a month for either a day or a weekend. He pays for the costs for this.