how do you deal with exhaustion?

[dolphinsandwhales]

Hi, I'm a single parent to a 2.5yo dd. She is wonderful, however I'm exhausted.

I work three long days per week, three days I spend with dd and one day exP looks after dd (in theory). Everyday I'm up/awake by 6am, either due to work or dd waking then. I never 'finish' my day until 9pm, due to housework/washing/my job if I need to finish some work in the evening at home.

I'm not short term tired, I feel more long term drained and fatigued. The daily grind of doing everything, from making sure the mortgage is paid to ensuring food in house, clothes washed and general admin is just really tiring.

I have no outside help, no relatives etc who will step in. I feel like my life is just constant work, I never have any time for myself. Last night I watched a film as a rare treat, it was great to do something for myself.

Does anyone have any tips for feeling more chilled and happier?

Do 1 thing you love every day even if it's just 10 mins. In fact limit it to 10 mins because then you want to do more of it. Make a list!

I don't really, 5yo DD doesn't settle until 10pm so I get very little chance to relax. I take vits, buy healthy food and get to the gym or out for a run 3/4 times a week. And I don't really do housework.

I'm also ensuring the mortgage is paid, homework is done and we're all fed. It's hard.

In time it gets better is all I can say. DD was 5 and DS was a new born when DP left. I went back to a 40 hour week when DS was 4.5 months old and it is now nearly 9 years on and I am just beginning to feel like I have energy again (says she as she yawns!!).

DP never had his kids overnight and I never fully got a break apart from the odd night my parents would take them both.

I have one who will not settle at night and one who wakes so damn early that I get/got very little sleep in between.

In time it gets better...

That's a good idea Common, I think I'll make time to read a novel for ten minutes.

Meglet you sound like me. I feel like I'm on auto pilot making sure everything is done and the mortgage is paid. I don't do much housework either, I try to keep things clean, but tidy is hard as dd makes lots of mess

Mrs Grumps goodness you've had a hard few years, I'm glad you say it does get better...

I think may be your standards are too high? One child and 3 days work shouldn't be exhausting you. Get to bed earlier. Leave dd things to play with in the morning.

Or are you depressed? Have you been away for a few days at all? Might help.

Maybe tell exp that he needs to step up and take some more responsibility. Dd is also his DC and as such should be doing a lot more (no excuses bar extreme health problems that limit his time) You manage work/life/childcare why shouldn't he ?

I have a similar routine and a 9pm finish would be a luxury!
My saving grace is propping the ipad up in the kitchen and watching crap on catch up while I cook/make pack lunches/clean

I have twin 2.5 year olds so even though I don't work right now I think I know I how you feel. Some nights I just go to bed when they do. Sleep is definitely a help. Worry about you time when you're feeling brighter. Clean/tidy as you go. And just do the minimum. I do! I take iron and vits and do yoga on youtube of an evening. Its not very exciting but I think for now you just need to feel better. Feeling tired can make you feel down and it becomes a vicious circle. Also, some mornings I just get up get the LOs dressed and go out for the whole day. Eat out, visit friends and put them in the buggy and walk around town. Then when you get home you have no dishes, no cooking and a tired babas. They are the best days for me. Hope you feel better soon.

I understand. The last two evenings after the dc went to bed, I did literally nothing. I could barely move to get myself ready for bed. Then I woke up at 5

I think a lot of parents are exhausted, especially in the early years. Then as they get older, the dc stay up later and later. I am looking forward to the time when I can go to bed before the children.

I had no help either bar the ex. I used to book additional days at the childminder here and there if I was extra tired for some quality 'me' time subject to funds, and book a massage appointment/read/play piano etc.

It seemed to get me through in one piece better and really lift my spirits.

Not everybody can afford to do this, although I was skint when I used to do that it made all the difference I can honestly say.

HTH.

I feel your pain. When I get home from a busy day at work my dd wants to play, but all I can think about is me having some 'me' time - isn't that awful! I long for someone to just pop round and help.

It got to a stage where I was so exhausted that I was actually crying on a regular basis. My body just was giving up on me. I knew I wasn't depressed.

Have you been to docs? I went and had some blood tests done which uncovered te problem! I've just started treatment and unlike previously, I can stay up past 10pm!

It is rough and I can sympathise as I have a three year old and am doing it alone, but with help from my parents which is a blessing.

Half an hour in a bubble bath with music or a book or magazine can be good. I am trying to start doing a bit of yoga again (in the house to a DVD). Forcing myself to do it is the difficult bit. Afterwards I feel great.

Sleep has always been my biggest treat though. Go to bed as soon as you can! Don't let yourself get too run down, I am guilty of that and am now suffering from an outbreak of cold sores.