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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Children going away with their dad feel down

13 replies

Thatslife72 · 20/07/2014 21:39

I know I should be grateful because some don't get a break at all, I don't usually as I live away from any family not many friends , but I just feel really down about it. They'll be gone for a whole 9 nights! I hate being in the house in my own. I am working part time but it's the evening I'm dreading and the days I'm not working what am I going to do. I'm also a bit fed up with my relationship I feel I want a bit more commitment now as I am just fed up being on my own ,he tends to do his own thing a lot his family don't really include me in stuff, I'm just down and thought someone off here might understand. I feel like Going away myself somewhere even for a couple of days but there is nowhere to go with.Has anyone ever done that,go away on there own?

OP posts:

BlackDaisies · 20/07/2014 22:47

It's always a bit rubbish. Keep busy! Drink wine, eat chocolates. I've never been away on my own, but I'd love to do a spa weekend. Take books, eat in your room if you can't face the restaurant.

It will drag at first but they'll be back before you know it! And then you won't have to deal with that for another few months!

As for your relationship, sounds like perhaps you need to discover and do a few things that make YOU happy, rather than depend on someone else. (I know, sounds a bit trite, but I'm a firm believer in relationships not working out til you feel happy with who you are!)

Original poster

Thatslife72 · 20/07/2014 23:15

Thanks black, yeh I'll be ok got a few things planned now but I still feel rubbish. I know what u mean about the relationship and what u say is true, I am very independant but there's just a few imbalances with the relationship that gets me down sometimes sometimes I love being on my own other times I get fed up of it, people who go home to their husbands every night don't really get that, I'm just having a down moment I think. Thanks for your reply x

OP posts:

BlackeyedSusan · 21/07/2014 01:32

getting a break is the odd night away. nine nights seems a very long time.

so what if others don't get a break... you still feel how you feel.

livsmum4 · 21/07/2014 03:46

As much as your going to miss the little one use this time to relax and enjoy some you time we all need it. I'm sure 9 weeks seems like forever but maybe it's a time to use to see what you and partner really want from the relationship. Spa break sounds like a fab idea. I hope I manage to unwind a little and enjoy the break.maybe use the time to start a little hobby or online course you have never had time todo xx

dobedobedo · 21/07/2014 03:54

I used to go away on my own all the time. Go somewhere you've never been before so you can explore and it's interesting.

Nine days is hard. Ds went to his dad's for three weeks once. It's normally two weeks (also alternate xmases ). Normally the first day is very hard. Then it is easier as you just don't think about them that much - this is a good thing. Keep busy. Then the last couple of days waiting for them to return is hard too. I find this is the pattern for me anyway.

Make plans now... Enjoy your time and before they go, do something nice with them, even just watching a movie with popcorn and ice cream

Original poster

Thatslife72 · 21/07/2014 09:41

Thank you ladies, it'll soon be over and they be back, I have planned a few things with some friends, I have a course to do as well. As for the relationship I'm just going to back off for a while sort my head out and see what it is I really want!

OP posts:

Bessiebigpants · 23/07/2014 20:16

Mine are going away tomorrow, they are going to Disney with dad.Im going to work loads to try to earn a bit extra for when they come home.I can t afford fancy holidays because ive got to budget for 3 lots of new uniform etc in September because dad can t afford it.
Can you pick up a bit of temp work while they are away through an agency even if it's minimum wage it helps and it will get you out of the house and meeting people.

crazylady321 · 26/07/2014 22:46

Its always hard at first especially if you are used to having the dcs all the time.

Is there any hobbies or something you could enjoy on a night? I tend to just make the most of the piece when mine are with their dad longest ive been without them is 5 nights though.

Hve you any local friends you could invite round?

Minime85 · 26/07/2014 23:33

Mine are going next Friday. This is first summer this has happened and that we've been separated. I've tried to pencil lots of things in and failing that going to paint youngest dcs bedroom. I'm not looking forward to it

gingercat2 · 07/08/2014 08:39

I'm dreading mine going away for three weeks at Xmas. One week is the longest I've done :(

Vole3 · 08/08/2014 06:12

2 more sleeps and DS is back.
Anticipation has been worse than the reality, but XH told me at the weekend that he has planned 2 weeks in Florida next summer. Would have been nice to ask rather than state it in front of DS. Wish I could afford such things........

StartWhereYouStand · 10/08/2014 09:07

yay - my DDs back from their hol with ex today
It was the first time ex taken them for a week (only separated 1yr ago) and yet another of those horrible firsts that had to be endured.

It has been a pretty hard week but I have just kept busy doing lots of boring house jobs and finally sorted out their bedrooms (which is lots easier without the DDs here demanding to keep oh-so-precious random bits of paper / shells / school stuff!)

Have also watched crap tv, caught up on some work and spent a day mooching round the shops like a bored teenager.

Hope all you other lovely LPs have managed to survive the week.

equinox · 15/08/2014 06:15

I feel for you. My son who is now 9 always used to stay quite regularly over at his dad until he became violent so since January I have had no access at all. It did used to feel quite lonely and sad after a few days.

Initially I would feel really free and relieved of the break. Now however as my son is so much better in his behaviour for not seeing him (!) I don't feel I need a break as such as I don't get nearly so stressed.

I am pleased you got through the week and in time I am sure you will get used to it. I used to read a lot of novels and watch lots of films on Sky..... Something I never get time for much now SIGH!

They will soon be home and think how delighted you will be to see them I do wish you well in it.

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