I just need a bit of advice and a splurdge...

[Emmiedarling]

Hello there,

I hope you don't mind me asking you all for your opinions and please do just hit me with them... I'm feeling really, really miserable and very stuck.

I am a 30 year old working three days a week in central London (It's a relatively new position - started in March) I have a very vibrant, hyper active 21 month old son who I adore and we live in SW London in a little 2 bed flat.

I was single whilst pregnant but when my son was six months I met the man I thought I was going to marry. He moved in last September/October and I was very happy building my new family. However, that relationship has now come to an end. I am absolutely heartbroken, incredibly lonely and just managing to get through each day.

My son is also very unsettled as he was very used to my partner as his father figure.

I have zero family in London. I also have zero support. I noticed how bad this was when he moved out and I had no one to turn to...maybe a handful of friends dotted all over the capital but no one to grab a coffee with etc. It was made all the more poignant when son was taken ill at nursery and I had no one to call to get there quicker than i could. I have no back up.. I can't be the only one in this position?

I don't know what to do now. My ex and I were planning to move out of my little flat and buy a house in Surrey. I don't know if I have the confidence or the finances to do that on my own. I have no contacts or support there either. My own parents are north - 5 hours from London. Do i pack up and head back there? My father is very ill and it seems silly to give up my good job to go back?

I feel confused and lonely..

Sorry for the ramble...!

I didn't go home when I had ds and was left alone but with a few friends who couldn't really help if/when I needed it, so I've done most of it myself. My father was diagnosed with COPD whilst I lived here and I wish I'd have gone home to be honest. He died 6 years ago and I regret not moving back to spend more time with him. I don't think anyone can tell you what to do, but have a think about the quality of life that you have there and what it would be like if you moved home.

Huge hug to you though

Home is where the heart is and you should ask where your heart lies. Can you take extended leave and go home for a while see how you feel then?

I came home and the change has been enormous, I get time to myself now and my DD can build a relationship with her GPs.

Thanks for your replies. Queen of the Pirates -do you think its all been for the better then?

I do have a gut feeling that it is not for us.

I love my parents dearly, but really really really.. there is NOTHING up there but them. No work opportunities for me, no social life (yes I can make a new one, but I LOVE have the buzz of London close by even if Im not in the center of it. So much for him to see and do..)

My Mum is convinced I cant cope and its the only option. But I did cope. I coped when My son was a baby, for 6 months.. I can't say it was easy, but I got through it. And surely there's an opportunity for me to meet someone else down here when the time is right?

I cant think i will meet anyone up there in the middle of no where with my elderly parents in a field..!

Oh i sound so negative... :(

I'm not in London but my dd's only living grandparent is a flight away and we have no family and few friends.

I've made quite a few Mummy friends whilst on mat leave which helps.

No advice really op but I do feel your pain.

FFS. I'm not as sad as that!

No family and few friends here, that should read!

consider joining gingerbread and finding other single parents in the area - then you can be back up for eachother, meet others in the same boat as you - build your own support network in effect! There are thousands of single working parents out there that feel the same as you, don't give up your life, career and independence.