Anger at the unfairness of it is really bubbling up in me today. Why on earth isn't it glaringly obvious to XP that it is unfair, selfish, presumptuous and implicitly hugely sexist that the following aren't shared any way near fairly between us: costs of raising our child, paying for childcare, actually spending time with and looking after our child, use of our holidays to care for our child, taking time to learn the skills required, read the parenting books etc when there's a problem or something we aren't sure about, making sure she has shoes that fit and toys to play with, feeling responsible and being prepared to drop everything if our child needs a parent, taking an equal hit in our careers, sleep, health, life choices, financial stability, quality of life. The list goes on and on and on.
He does almost nothing and behaves more like an unreliable rather distant uncle, sees her every 1-2 months and rarely calls, thinks paying the CSA is being generous, rather than being actually scraping by with the bare minimum. His family is fairly rich, I and mine are not. My life is very hard at the moment.
I feel such anger and contempt for him, but feel I have to hide this to encourage him to actually come for contact and for dd to have a nice time and be protected from witnessing my frustration. I just want to tell him what a let down he is as a father and as a human being.
The upside is that I have my amazing child in my life for much of the time. I do know I have by far the best deal, and I wouldn't swap with him for anything. But it isn't right, is it? I know I will be able to look back and say I've given my all and been a good parent, but his inadequacy really doesn't seem to be bothering him at all. He thinks he's doing the best he can.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr!