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How to move on?

1 reply

scottishlassy · 07/07/2014 19:58

I'm really struggling and need some help. Husband and I seperated 2 years ago now due to his very unreasonable behaviour. We have a DD who is 5 1/2. Shes amazing and I love her dearly.

I don't want my husband back or anything - he was a prize since DD was born. But I'm really struggling with 'moving on' that everone talks about. I can't seem to get over the hurt or the pain that he's caused. Having to see him regularly for contact etc is really hard and I long for a clean break, but know with DD that'll never happen.

The legal arguing has settled down a bit, but everytime that happens he does something else that puts me back a few steps. We have a parenting agreement and within that we have explicitly agreed to discuss new partners and introductions before going forward, but he just broke this agreement. what's the point if there are no consequences and he does what he wants anyway. I feel that I have to consult him on all my life events as they involve DD, but he just ploughs on regardless.

I am hearing everyone say 'you have to let it go', but how do you let go? what are the steps. I want to, but don't know how. It is more painful now after 2 years than it was at the time!

Please help - any words of advice, wisdom, support? I feel like my family and friends are sick of me going on like a broken record and I'm tring sooooo hard, but really stuck

OP posts:
WhyWhyWhyWhat · 07/07/2014 22:44

What helped me was accepting I would probably have this shit for the rest of my life, Yes, depressing! But actually freeing to give up on hoping it will get better.

They have proved what arses they are. I pratically expect my ex to be a dick and get the odd pleasant surprise when he actually does a good impersonation of a parent. Rest of the time I try and pretend he doesn't exist.

Also keep yourself busy, as much as you can with a child. Reconnect with old friends, pursue an interest, exercise, meet new people, make plans for holiday/days out/projects with dd.

Likely there will always be a thorn in your side (although I know people who do say their ex got better over time) but just try and distract yourself.

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