Is it bad this has crossed my mind?

[Steelojames]

Ex demanding to see 10 mo DS. I've been letting him see him even tho he rarely spends quality time, expects me to do everything and hasn't got a clue how to handle babies not to mention he hasn't given me a penny, yes right a penny!
Threatened to go to CSA, which I think is only alternative now!
How can some fathers say they want to be involved and not contribute to the child's upkeep?! I do not get it!!!!

Anyways I have been thinking to hand DS over to his dad butt naked, so he will have to fork out then surely??!!
I wouldn't obviously but it's crossed my mind & I feel like such a bad mother for thinking it!!

No pushchair, nappy, clothes, toys, milk/food, he thinks it grows on bloody trees!!
Sorry had to rant! DS's dad is in a bad place financially, lots of debt. I understand that, & have been very patient but I think he is taking the mic now....he works hard & could go to pound land or even a charity shop to offer our child something, but doesn't bother! 10 months of nothing I don't think it's good enough.

He also gets extremely defensive everytime I mention it. I want DS to have a relationship with him but this is making it very difficult. He begged for time to get his act together, but I'm fed up now.

How wrong is it to keep my distance until he does?
DS has teething pains and he had the cheek to say "you should get him some teething gel."
We argue and I personally do not think it's fair he gets access without contributing....

Your ds is not pay per view!! If you went to court with that viewpoint the judge would not be amused. They don't mix money with access.

I wouldn't really do that anyonefortennis I'm just reaching boiling point.

I agree, it is very frustrating so if you are unable to get him to understand that he MUST make a contribution, the CSA is your only alternative.

Obviously contact and maintenance shouldn't be linked but handing over your son butt naked might drive the point home, i would give it a try ;-)

The CSA doesn't take in new cases anymore unfortunately.

I would just phone CSa, hope he works because your in for pittance if he doesn't

Unless you have an existing case the child support agency won't take your case. From now on you have to apply first to a new agency and pay their fee to use them!

Far better to try and 'shame' him

Yeah he works and is on a decent wage! But previous debts take up a lot of his wage. However he is selfish, & let it slip he had to buy a new wardrobe the other day!!!
I was furious!!! He isn't prioritising with the money he keeps to himself every month.
I know there is another service. Think will call them! He is taking the piss.

I couldn't do that to my son, but did think it's warm at the moment he will last 2 secs or so while I prove my point.
The ex is driving me mad!! Even the fact I considered it, I've stooped sooo low.
(Head in my hands)
But it's what he has reduced me too ladies, please dont think bad of me!