do I force my 2.9 month old to go with her dad

[Daisypops]

I have posted before regarding our dc not wanting to see their dad. Dc1 is happy to go for days, over night stays are still an issue.

However dc2 who is 2 years 9 month cries at handover and clings to me. At the last handover exp pulled her from my leg and carried her out crying.

I called him later to ask how him how she was but he wouldn't answer the phone.

Do I force her to go in these circumstances and allow him toopull her from my in a distressed state or do I refuse.

I want to add I have always encouraged contact but he only commits to seeing the dc once a month which I think is the issue but he won't increase contact despite my requests

Separation anxiety, as awful as it feels, is to be expected, sadly. There are things you can do to reduce it but I've found we go through phases of it being worse than other times.

Unless you have serious concerns about the way he is treating them then yes, I would (and have in similar circumstances) still send her.

It would worry me that he wouldn't tell you how she was. It might be that she was fine as soon as you were out of view - DS used to be like that every time I left him at the childminder/with a babysitter and I'd always get a text as soon as I was around the corner saying "He's fine!" I saw him do this in a creche too (I hid so he couldn't see me and get upset again) so it is normal for that age.

The lack of communication is an issue. Was he abusive? He seems like he's not being very considerate of your feelings.

He was emotionally abusive bertie. Still is by threatening court when im trying to encourage contact!

DSS went through a phase of doing this at about the same age when he was due to go back to his mum's. I think he was reacting/picking up on his Dad's feelings (of not wanting him to go) and we did have to carry him kicking and screaming into the car a few times. It didn't mean he didn't love his mum or anything, and it did wear off.