Obsessed ex, any way to keep him away?

[Angelwoes]

I've been trying to arrange child contact with my ex (have a young baby), who is a heavy drug user but reportedly has been off drugs now. I have set out contact arrangements with a solicitors letter and he keeps trying to circumvent agreeing the part about not having any contact with me. The amount of contact with the baby has been agreed. Basically they are all sensible things like one-way email to confirm dates, my mum as an emergency contact etc.

My ex has been very agressive with me and he has this belief that I have no right not to be in a relationship with him and he is determined to try and force me into contact with him which I do NOT want. I have changed my mobile number to block him.

None of this need to be in personal contact with me is anything to do with child contact - it is all about me. We have been split up for 8 months now and he still hasn't got the message that I don't want anything to do with him! Just his name makes me feel stressed and trapped and miserable, I just want him off my back!

My question is . . how would it work if I had to get a restraining order against him? I am going back to work and will unfortunately have to work in an environment where he will be in and out of the office - but I can perhaps get management to tell him to keep away from me. . .

I think he has some psychological problem which makes him unable to get the message and I am really stressed and frustrated with what to do. I would never get back with him in a million years :( Any advice that could help?

Also, it is really obvious to me that he doens't really care about the baby - he sees her as a tool and weapon to try and control me. I really worry about her safety with him but have no power to stop it . . :(

First off what access has been agreed? From what you have said he doesn't sound like the kind of person that should be around a child without supervision.

Secondly, speak to your solicitor about a non harassment order (Scotland) non molestation order (England). Keep a log of any and all contact that he does manage to make with you and continue to ignore him.

Ask for a meeting with your boss prior to returning to work and explain the situation, explain that he is not to approach you and request your boss makes that clear to your ex prior to you returning.

If you plan on leaving your child in a nursery when you return to work consider speaking to your solicitor about the possibility of a PSO. Make it clear that you want to stipulate within the order that your ex is not allowed to collect your child from nursery. Would be worth requesting something to be said about taking the child abroad also (they will advise you)

If you haven't already, apply for your childs passport. Do not put his details on the form (you do not have to).

This isn't said to scare you but to try and protect you from all corners. You need some serious legal advice to safeguard yourself.

Oh and make sure that you are claim CB (if you aren't already) so that your ex can't do it. This can be used to determine who the RP is.

Even if you are over the threshold apply and waive the payments.

Great advice, Meep, thankyou so much. .

I tried to get the harrasment order via the solicitor, but they said there is not much they can do unless he is actually threatening me :/

With work, it will be hard for him to hassle me as it is a very public office and he would struggle to get away with sitting near me etc. I can also talk to managemtent and get them to keep an eye on it.

I've sorted the CB and CSA luckily . . I hadn't considered the passport issue, but I will go down to the post office and get that sorted today - I thought I'd need his "permission" on it and it's great that I don't.

I just hope that eventually he meets a new person and leaves me alone :/

Nope, I got my daughters passport and just didn't enter her Fathers details onto the application and had no problem what so ever.