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my baby's dad want to take her away from me, he took me to court

13 replies

Georgiaandi · 30/05/2014 10:06

Hi, My baby's dad and I are not together and we never was. We were 2 friends who want a baby. He always said that I will be looking after the baby and he will help us and come and visit as much as he can. Two days after I came home from hospital with my baby, I got the first letter from his solicitor demanding that I give my baby to him!! When my baby was 4 weeks old I had to go to court first time, in London at the Family Division of the High court. I live one hours away!! I am breastfeeding her on demand still. Since then I had another court hearing and on Monday another one. I cant afford a solicitor so I have been representing myself. It got too much now, I cant follow the legal rules, I am stressed, upset I cant sleep and I cant eat properly. All I want is to be left alone and to be able to fully enjoy my baby. I was given no opportunity to recover from child birth, I am all on my own, I have other 2 kids to look after too. He is bulling me, and I am so scared that his solicitor will do something to take my baby away from me. Everyone is telling me that this will not happen, but I am so scared because he has money to pay for solicitors and I have not.
I am trying to postpone the Monday hearing, I have a letter from GP to say that I am too stressed to attend court, but not sure if I can. This is the nightmare of my life.
He is saying that we agree that the will be the main carer of our baby, which is not true, but we have nothing on writing to confirm it one way or the other.

I had a solicitor who was looking at my paper work, saying that will take us on on a pro bono basis, then left us on the last minute. Now I try to postpone the Monday hearing, send paper work to the court but not heard from them since. I am afraid that the paper work will get l lost on the system and the judge will hold me on contempt. I am so desperate and do not what to do.....
So far the court are saying nothing, no evidence been presented, jut our statements. He want her name change, dose not want her christened on my religion..... so all this to be discussed in court.
They want the matter transferred to the high court too.
How on earth can I deal with all of this and with a new baby too??! No one is thinking about me, as a human being, as a mother and a full time carer for my baby.
My baby is the best baby in the world, she is doing so well, happy and I love her to bits.
I never stopped her dad to come and see her when he want too. He comes 6 times a week, for 3 hours at the time, takes her away and brings her back to me. She is 4 months old and fully breastfed.
Her dad runs 3 bossiness in South London, in Clapham area, so he has got the time and money to take me to court. He dose not give us any maintenance money, just buy her nappies when I ask him to.

OP posts:
sezamcgregor · 30/05/2014 16:12

No advice I'm afraid but perhaps post in the legal section and see a family solicitor and see about Legal Aid?

What grounds is he saying that he wants to have the baby to himself?

I really can't imagine what you're going through, hope you're okay.

Simile · 30/05/2014 22:43

Sounds hideous. Agree with Sez though, copy this across to the legal matters board. You'll get some good advice on there.

Thanks
mercibucket · 30/05/2014 22:46

Is this a repeat thread?

Sleepyhoglet · 30/05/2014 22:51

What did you agree about contact before the birth? Did you have any paperwork? Is he on birth certificate?

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 30/05/2014 22:51

Post in legal.
This sounds awful for you. Don't let him control you.

Georgiaandi · 30/05/2014 22:53

Thank you.
He is saying that he can be the main carer for her as well. The baby needs her dad as much as she needs her mother!! The equality in rights between the parents and all of that...........

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Georgiaandi · 30/05/2014 22:58

We did agree before birth that the baby will live with me and he will see her as much as he can. But he change his mind now.
We do not have anything on writing about the baby. I trusted him. I know him for the past 24 years and never in a million of years I did expect something like this from him. I feel like he actually planed all of this to happen this way.

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Sleepyhoglet · 30/05/2014 22:59

Does he have a partner?

Georgiaandi · 30/05/2014 23:00

No legal aid available anymore, only for a abuse cases.
Well I do feel mentally abused by him as he try to control me, but this is very hard to prove. I can't show my bruises, can I? Mental abuse is so hard to prove, so I can't really get legal aid.

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Georgiaandi · 30/05/2014 23:01

Yes he has got a partner.

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Georgiaandi · 30/05/2014 23:02

I had to put him on the birth certificate, as he got parental responsibilities trough the court, I had no option.

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Actifizz · 31/05/2014 09:23

Just to clarify, your first hearingwas held in the high court ? What was the outcome of that ?

Georgiaandi · 31/05/2014 09:34

It was ordered the Cafcass will do a risk assessment. Cafcass did a such a bad job of that, inaccurate and with mistakes report. Quite favoring the other side. Dad got his contact arrangements after the report was done and his parental responsibility. Cafcass never meet dad and baby together to assets properly the situation and he got all of this. Cafcass even suggested that the baby can come off the breast in order for dad to have overnight contact at his house! A 2 months old baby at that time. Cafcass never said anything about me being a bad mother,,,,,,

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