work and where to start

[rhythm12]

I'd like to share some info about my situation and see whether anyone can offer advice.

I'm a single mother of a 4 month old baby. The Dad left while I was pregnant. He pays the correct amount of maintenance. I have a job paying £45k including bonus, in a major city. I will have to give the job up once maternity pay runs out (staying is not an option). I have considerable savings and am not entitled to any benefits, except Child Benefit, plus Working Tax Credits as and when I work. I don't own my home, I rent privately. I don't drive (yet). I don't have any debt. I have very limited family / friend support when it comes to the baby (no free childcare).

With these parameters, I've approached the local job centre, hoping they might be able to help me figure out how I could get a new job and balance the income/childcare and make ends meet. They told me it's not their job to do this (I met their lone parent adviser) and couldn't help me once I told them I wasn't entitled to benefits (looked at me as if to say what are you doing here).

So, is there anyone else in my position (after this long-winded explanation, I basically mean single mum but not entitled to any benefits, and needing to work full-time) and if so, is there any advice you can offer? I'm prepared to move anywhere to work, if that means financial security. Is there any location in the UK that works out best for finding work, as well as balancing work and childcare costs? I've looked at Dubai as an option, as apparently you can have a full time live-in nanny out there.

Sorry if this seems like a general/vague question, I'm trying to figure out where to start, where to start, and am a 'novice' single mum.

Also, sorry if my first message wasn't clear, but I won't be able to have the £45k salary 'anywhere'. I might get that salary in London/South East, but there childcare costs seem so high my books wouldn't balance. Whereas for a similar job elsewhere I might earn more like £25k so, although childcare costs are lower.. same problem?

Certainly look in to the UAE if you have no ties to a particular area.

Good luck - it's very hard when you're in that middle ground on a supposed good salary and get no help

Rhythm12, I'm not a lone parent but I hope you don't mind me butting in on your thread.

Please don't be too quick to quit your job. I'm a veteran user of childcare and I live in the south east. Is it possible to live in a cheaper town and commute? I do this, both housing and childcare are cheaper than where I work.

Is it possible to do compressed hrs thus paying for less childcare? I have never done this but I have friends in different industries who have.

Childminders are often cheaper than nurseries.

You are at a really pricey time now but when your child is 3 you get 15 hrs of childcare 38 weeks of the year. I can't remember exactly but it wipes 250 ish off your childcare per month.

If you can use vouchers it should save 1k a year on your bill (via salary sacrifice).

I know of a family who paid some of the nursery bills on credit (interest free card) knowing at 3 they would have s little spare to pay it off (or when school starts). I don't advise this but thought I'd mention it.

I wish you luck. I know people day you should know how much childcare is before you have kids but honestly I wouldn't have believed how expensive it is. When asked by people (mostly my family) how much it costs they assume I'm an idiot and I'm getting ripped off.

Agree with the above - think very long and hard before quitting! My job in London is worth around £35-40k, but when I lived in Kent and most of the South East it went down to £14-18k! Obviously housing is cheaper but options narrow drastically. Commuting in is one option but you may regret that on little sleep.

Have you considered the single parent house shares? There have been a few threads about them on here if you search. If you wanted to stay in London it could be an idea?

I'd stay with the job as your tax credits and vouchers for childcare make everything far more affordable. I own my own house and so get no tax credits/help with these and they are crippling. A couple I know rent and bring in about 3x more than I do every month and pay 'less' (obv I mean via vouchers), on their nursery bills despite having 2 kids in full time. It really is worth working if you are over £20k. For me on my lowly wage down here I would just be covering costs of nursery if I worked, so until she is 3 there is little point so I'd rather spend the time with her.

why cant you continue at current job? going back to something you know is far the better option when you going to be sleep deprived etc

childcare will be expensive first few years - nanny share might be possibility?

Hi and thanks.. to answer your questions, unfortunately keeping the job doesn't seem to be an option. It was when I found out I was pregnant.. not by the end of my pregnancy really as I'm now taking my employer to court over the way they treated me. I prefer not to give more details. I wish it weren't the case.

I would most def look at sharing. I've shared in London and other places for the past 10-15 years, so have a good understanding of communal living. At the same time, even my friends renting a room in a shared house in/near London pay £750+bills/pcm for that. A tiny one room flat is upwards of £1000/pcm. So a £30-40k salary isn't much down there when that gives you take home pay of just over £2k/pcm and the average childcare costs are £350/week in places?

As Lioninthesun says, the prob is that outside London salaries drop so are you any better off? I'd go anywhere - Bristol? Leeds? Glasgow? Abroad? - if it meant things would work out. As I don't own a home I have mobility on my side, just trying to understand where to go or if there's something I haven't thought of, where the finances might balance out.

I was in France for a while and it was much more affordable, crèche's are open similar days and hours to private nursery at a cost of under 2€ an hour! varies on income. The kids can also start school full time 8.30-4.30 the year they turn 3. Age cut off is 1st jan to 31dec is if your child's 3rd birthday falls between September to December they actually start aged 2. It is more like nursery that school and they still have a nap in the afternoons but do need to be potty trained. Another plus is that they have a second language. Good luck with your choices.

Hi Tottie24 thanks for this, very useful info. I do speak French (have a degree in it) but haven't lived there for over a decade. Can I ask where in France you were living? And the sort of job/salary you were on to get by there, if you don't mind giving a general indication?

Do you have room to accommodate a live in nanny? Or look at child minders?

I'd have a good think about the future and which schools you want to be near and try to make a decision now so you don't have to keep moving about.

HTH x

Have you called Gingerbread the single parent charity? I am sure they can talk you through your financial options. I gave up a good job in London and moved to a cheaper part of the UK, gave up the job and started my own business. Tax credits helped me pay for about 90% of childcare and I now have a thriving business 18 months on.

au pairs are always keen to be in London - the problem would be that they couldn't be sole charge of a baby. However, you might be able to juggle an au pair with other childcare to keep the costs down?

If you have a degree in French, have you thought about teacher training? Jobs are pretty much guarenteed in London, fit well with children (although you do need to consider parents evenings and the odd Inset day that can make life difficult) and the training bursary for a 2:1 currently stands at £15k (£20k for a first). You would qualify for help with childcare whilst training, full tax credits etc. It is worth looking at. You might still get on a course for September if you really wanted to.

thank you. queenofthepirates - I would love to run my own business (I think).. just maybe, truthfully, lacking a little guts so far to try it! But nothing ventured... :) whereas fedupbutfine - teaching 30-40 x 14 year olds GCSE French all day when (I assume) most of them would rather be doing.. anything else..? argh..!

Op have you been to citizens advice bureau? They can advise better than the job centre. You are correct about incomes support and housing benefit but if you work 16 hours a week you will get child and working tax credit.

I think if it were me I would look at getting out of london. You can survive much better away from there on salary/tax credits etc