Ex has filed a specific issues order to do with schooling-nervous?!

[ROZ12]

Hi all,

I was worried this would happen.

My ex has parental responsibility and with help of mumsnet, found out that this meant't to inform and consult the other party but decisions can be made independently. BUT apparently I required his legal consent if it's a change of school.

My DD is starting secondary school so technically it isn't a change of school but moving on.

I informed my ex with all the applications a year ago and when results came through I informed him of our choices. We disagreed on school choice, i wanted one and he wanted the other. One was inconvenient for me to take my DD every day and the other is convenient.But most of all my DD like my choice best.

Ex refused to help with fees for his choice of school unless I gave overnight contact on Thursdays. I disagreed with his ways and rejected the school. I informed him the day after acceptance day and informed him I'm accepting the other. I asked him to let me know by a certain date if he agreed with this decision, he never replied therefore i went ahead with accepting the school otherwise I would have been schooless.

He is taking me to court as he claims I didn't get his legal consent for change of school. I thought it was enough that I informed him and consulted him. Also he is wanting overnight contact on a Thursday and saying I didn't consider that teh school is so far that it will eat into his contact time on Thursdays. I feel, that's life High school will naturally mean less time every evening even for me with our DD. But Thursdays nights will be too disruptive during school week and the school is highly academic my DD doesn't want to deal with transporting books and losing books.

Has my ex got a good case-will get told off by the judge??

Also I'm paying fulll fees on my own he isn't contributing-can I get him to pay and mention in court??

Thanks all.

So if he wants a decent amount of time with his dd, he has to pay?

Im just saying he can obviously afford it as he offered fr his choice of school. Saying no to our choice of school and taking away fees show she only offered if he got a deal. He should pay regardless.

contact on thursdays is disruptive and DD doesnt wantvit.

Midweeks are only disruptive if you're not organised. Dss has had minimum of one midweek stay every week since being five yo. (He's finished school for study leave in yr 11 today). It's made him more responsible for making sure stuff is where it should be.
We have a full uniform and pe kit here and catch up with his mum over anything pressing such as extra books, forms filling in for trips etc, just to make sure we all know. It's really not that difficult. You can ask him to contribute but he doesn't have to for school fees.

Saying no to our choice of school and taking away fees show she only offered if he got a deal

Or maybe he was trying to make a compromise with you whereby the time he lost on a Thursday afternoon could be made up on Thursday evening and, knowing that the money you would lose by him having more overnight contact is weighing heavily on your mind, offered the fees as a sweetener.

At the end of the day it seems that you want your choice of school plus less contact between your DD and her father plus him paying the fees for the school you chose and you seem unwilling to compromise at all. To be honest I can understand why your ex thinks that the only way his opinion will be heard is in court. Was there any mention of mediation?