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Lone parents

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Original poster

Starting a new relationship.

7 replies

YourHandInMyHand · 07/05/2014 10:30

I've been single for 4 years and have been seeing someone really nice. He is great with DS who has autism, is a good dad to his own child, and it's all going well. I'd forgotten how nice it could be to wake up with someone/ have a cuddle on the sofa, etc.

I'm finding it a huge adjustment though in terms of compromising, having someone else around the house, thinking of another person, etc. Anyone else the same? I've gotten so used to suiting myself and my life revolving around DS. Me and DS both like this new guy, so why do I keep freaking out!? My relationship with DS's dad was awful - he was emotionally abusive and it took me a long while to build up a home and get back on my feet emotionally.

I am really happy but in the back of my mind I am worrying and stressing too.

OP posts:
nomoretether · 07/05/2014 10:58

I have this. I'm actually pregnant now with his child and having to get my head around doing parenting with someone - which is even more odd as he is a very hands on stepdad!
When I notice I'm freaking out I just try and be kind to myself and remind myself that I've been on my own for a long time so it will take time to adjust to compromising and not being the only responsible one as well :)

Original poster
YourHandInMyHand · 07/05/2014 17:21

Thanks for reply, at least I'm not the only one! Smile

Yep I do that having a kind word with myself too, and I often have to remind myself he is in the same boat and we are both finding our way after a long time single with just ourselves and our child to think of. We've both done the step parenting thing before too so at least we both get that.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Smile I would love more children but told myself it would have to be a pretty amazing guy for me to commit to starting a family all over again. Will have to wait and see on that one!

OP posts:
nomoretether · 07/05/2014 17:51

I had given up hope on having more children. I had decided all men were the same until I met my fiancé. I hope it all works out for you :)

UncrushedParsley · 07/05/2014 20:27

I think when you've had a really rubbish relationship, part of you is scared IME. Doesn't mean it won't work out well though. In a kind of similar position, its certainly put me off getting married or living with anyone again, but am just enjoying the relationship at the moment :)

Original poster
YourHandInMyHand · 08/05/2014 08:14

Yes the living with someone is a scary concept and for me it boils down to security. I walked out with DS and nothing but clothes and toys and we now have a lovely (rented) home that I've done up and really like. Trouble is it's tiny! I agree - for now I am trying to just enjoy the now of it all.

IF I ever did move in with him or we move in somewhere new together I would want some money of my own in an ISA in case it all goes tits up - I never want to be in the position I was in before. Cynical or sensible?

OP posts:
nomoretether · 08/05/2014 11:46

Sensible :)

UncrushedParsley · 08/05/2014 16:18

this. I would go so far as to say I would go for legal advice if I ever decided to get financially entangled with another human again! :)

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