I posted a thread in step parenting last week about my DD (11) having still not met her baby sibling and not seeing her dad since the arrival around five weeks ago now. Usually access has been EOW with subject to change if genuine reasons crop up. We've always got on reasonably amicably (although we have been known to butt heads with issues. Let's face it, who hasn't married or not).
The reason I posted in SP was to see from another SP's point of view. I am a SP myself and also have joint children with my DH (not DD's dad). I wanted to see if I was being unreasonable with thinking that she should have met her sibling by now and at least still be seeing her dad. The general consensus was that while it could be understood to not have DD directly after the birth (as I could understand myself and told ex it was fine) she should have had an introduction by now.
Instead, she has been completely cut out with hardly any contact with her dad - only briefly indirectly, with him having to rush off to do something for his wife or baby. His constant excuse seems to be that it's too much for DW dealing with 2 and all too much at the moment.
I understand it could be too much for his wife as baby is her first but DD is not her responsibility. She is my ex's during the time she is there.
She's meant to be staying with his parents this coming weekend and he's meant to be taking her out for a few hours. But I've received an email off him saying he'll have to stop having overnights with her for now as it's all too much with it being EOW and the "stress" of such a young baby on top.
I'm bloody fuming. I've tried and tried to seem reasonable. I even took DD out to buy a gift for her sibling, tried reassuring her that nothing will change and things will be the same except that she has another family member. I've been genuinely happy for her. But now he's taking the piss. It feels like he thinks more of his new child than DD. That she is no longer equal and her feelings or the relationship they have as father and daughter no longer matter because now he has somebody more important. I know it shouldn't feel like that but that's how he seems to be presenting it to DD and myself with his constant shitty get out of it excuses.
Has anyone else had to deal with anything similar? If so, how did you reassure your child when they feel so lost and second rate?